I'm under a giant mango tree sitting in our favorite spot. The place where everything started and unfortunately, ended.
I was looking on the nearby river when an image appeared on my sight. There's a guy who's standing right in front of me smiling. I tried my best to assimilate but I can't recognize him.
Until it becomes crystal clear. I nearly fainted when I realize who was it. It's HIM.
He's wearing a white shirt printed with black and red lines forming an abstract image. Is it just me? Or He's really looking at me.
Oh my gosh! Why is he walking towards my place? I'm now having a hard time in breathing. My heart beats faster every time he took a step. He's getting nearer and nearer. My whole body is shaking. I can't composed myself. It feels like all my muscles became involuntary all of a sudden. Why am I feeling this?
I'm talking to myself asking things when I realized he's now just an inch away. He suddenly reach for my hand and held it tight. The touch of his hand drive shivers down my spine.
He intertwined our fingers and whispered "I love you to the moon and back"
I'm just hallucinating right? He can't be real! But why can I feel his hands when he touched mine?
I can also smell his perfume.
I can really feel his presence.
I know he's real! He's real!
I thought he'll never return, but he came back. He came for me. I hugged him tight to make sure that he's real and replied "To infinity and beyond"
I'm waiting for him to hug me back.
1 second...
2...
3...
4...
But he didn't move. He loosen my hands and free himself instead. I was taken a back. Why didn't he hugged me back?
I starred at him for a while. But he just bowed his head down. As if he's avoiding my eyes.
Then our atmosphere changed for a sudden. The whole place was filled with silence.
Until he spoke.
"I'm sorry Nica but.. "
I cut him off.
"Neil, Don't... Just don't"
I know where will this conversation go. I know what he'll say. I have a very great instinct that something will happen. I don't know what. I just know that there is.
"You need to hear this Nica."
"No! I don't. All I need is you Neil! I need you to stay by my side."
"But Nica, I can't. I can no longer love you. I need to forget you. Forget about us."
And my tears starts to fall. From my left and right eyes down on my cheeks. They're like speed cars, they're having their own race.
I can't breathe. It feels like my lungs lacked of oxygen.
"Why Neil?! Tell me why! I thought you love me? But why are you doing this to me?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.
"Nica, please listen. I love you. I really do. But I just can't. I need to stop everything that's going on between us. I have to."
"I can't understand you. I can't understand Neil. Why do you have to do that?" I managed to utter between my sobs.
"I'm leaving. We'll migrate in New York for good." He answered.
What?! Is that his reason? But we can cope with it right? We can make it right?
"What does that have to do with us Neil? I'm fine with Long distance relationships. Why do you have to forget me, forget us?"
"You're making things hard. Harder than it needs to be Nica."
"Because you're making it complicated Neil! You'll just migrate for God's sake! But you're acting as if you're dying."
"No I don't. You just can't accept it. When I leave, there are lots of boys waiting for you Nica! It wouldn't be hard for you to replace me."
"Do you think it's that easy Neil? You think it will not be difficult on my part to be left by the boy I love the most? Maybe for you, it does. But for me, it's not Neil! Even though there are millions or even billions of boys out there, You're the only one that matters. You will always be the guy I love and will love forever."
"Nica, I know it's not easy. I know it will be hard for you, for us. I love you Nica. I don't want you to see in pain. I don't want you to get hurt. All I want for you is to be happy. Let me leave Nica. Let me leave you. Forget about me. Divert your attention to another guy."
"You don't want to see me in pain? You don't want me to get hurt? But you're hurting me Neil! You're breaking my heart into pieces!"
"I'm sorry. But it's for your own good. It will be more difficult and harder for you if I'll be staying by your side. I'm dying Nica."
"You're kidding me right? That's not true."
"It is Nica. So I need to be far away from you. I need you to move on. I don't want you to suffer when the time of my death comes. I want you to forget me so it will be easy for you when I'll be gone."
"No! I know you're lying Neil!" I said and held his shoulder.
He loosen my grip.
"No please! Don't leave!" I begged.
My sob gets louder.
He cupped my face and kissed me on my forehead.
"You will always be in my heart and mind forever. Always remember that I love you so much. To the moon and back."
He put his fingers on the tip of my lips to form it into a smile.
"Goodbye My Princess. Be happy always."
He then turned his back on me. All I can do is to watch him as he walks away from me. As he leaves me, forever.
*kriiiing! Kriiing! Kriiing!*
I woke up at the sound of my alarm.
I dreamt of him again.
It's been 2 years but still, I can't forget him.
Yes. It's been 2 years. But I still love him.
After he's flight, I never heard anything about him.
I fuckin' miss him already :'(
Damn. He's driving me crazy! Ugggh.
Maybe we'll never see each other again but every laugh we shared, every smile you brought to my face and the memories we made together will still mean absolutely everything to me.
