Made Simple

Locked In

In the life we live, there are stages we go through. These stages are all about change but with each change, there is a mark left of the past we have lived in.

Inside of me, there used to be a young girl of purity and innocence; meek but filled with curiosity. To her, actions were not consequential, neither destructive nor productive. Life was simple and she was at peace.

On the surface, still in her early stages, is the young lady that I am. She is the one they all see, the one they all love. Her life, so far has been short lived with all its triumphs and trials. She plans and dreams of a life a she will not live. A life she to let go of and pass on, a life she has to grow away from.

There is a side of her that she has tried tirelessly to bury because of its repercussions; the hurt it's caused and what it has left behind. She no longer wishes to carry the burden; she wants it to carry her as a lesson. Choosing to forget the existence of her pain is not an option she instead, clothes it, not to hide it but to make it seem okay.

Inside of me, lies a woman with a great mind that is still willing to be absorbent but more than anything, is very independent. She takes her needs and puts them above the needs of others while looking with a nurturing eye and a gentle hand ready to hold or even a give harsh pull. She is the complete version of everything I have worked for; her goals are centred and ambitions accomplished. People look up to her but she does not let that motivate her because she remembers the little girl time and time again. The girl that was innocent and humble. She is mature enough to understand the complexity of success and the importance of failure.

She is not afraid of her future, it is her past that keeps her from closing her eyes at night. Trudging through its debris, she does not clothe it any longer, she slowly moves away from it instead. With patience she sits and waits looking from inside. She is slowly pushing her way out by standing her ground. She, unlike the previous girl, is a woman of great power and tenacity in her personal life.

In the life we live there are stages. The scars and stains left behind can be removed and like the chains they are, destroyed. It is only if I choose to free the woman locked inside.