Was I really about to do this?
I glanced back and forth between my cluttered room and the vast forest that lay just a few yards outside my bedroom window.
I was clad in all black with a pair of combat boots and a slim backpack by my feet. The small knife my dad insisted I carry was tucked safely into one of my boots. The cool autumn breeze moved around lightly outside and the star filled sky made this little adventure seem more alluring. But a large part of me felt like I was taking a one way ticket straight to hell. My stomach fluttered and anxiety filled every part of my being, so much so that my hands were starting to shake.
Could I do this? Was the question I should be asking myself.
The truth was I had no idea why I decided to stay awake until 1:00 a.m., dress like I was some badass chick in a dystopian novel, and open my window with the possible intention of slipping out. After all I was just some quiet high school student who got good grades and constantly had her nose stuck in a book.
But it was tiring always reading about the adventures of others. Whether it be a sappy romance novel or an action packed book, I wanted to be apart of something.
And I had waited. Waited for some mysterious new boy to move into town and sweep me off my feet and straight into his world. Waited for the golden boy of the school to finally notice me and ask me to wear his jersey at the football games. Waited for someone to really look at me, to finally notice that I was a living, breathing human who wasn't all that boring.
But the truth was, I was tired of waiting.
My life was in my hands, and if I had to wander the damn forest at 1:22 a.m. on a Wednesday night to finally start living, then so be it.
Before I started to second guess myself, my left leg slid over the window sill and my right soon followed it. Suddenly my surroundings changed and instead of my cozy room I stood under the full moon.
I looked back at our two story brick home and almost considered crawling back into bed. Then just forgetting any of this ever happened. But then I remembered how bored I was with my life. It was the same thing every day, every week, every month.
"Fuck it," I whispered under my breath and took off towards the forest.
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