Crabies (Craving/Rabies)A To Kill a Mockingbird Fanfiction

He's Back...And Hotter Than Ever!

Jem's Pov

I am Jem Finch. I am a super hot high schooler in Maycomb, Alabama. We are known for not excepting difference or the inevitable since our founding. But ehh....I don't care.

I have been melancholy ever since my father Atticus shot someone who I felt a special connection with. I was only twelve when Atticus shot down Tim Johnson...the rabid dog.

Yes, I know what you are going to ask. No, we weren't dating then. You see, it was forbidden and I barely knew his great personality. I hadn't even seen him until then, let alone kissed him or gone to a romantic olive garden for our movie night. Those were dark times. I didn't realize how lost I was, that was until...I met him

You see, as a twelve year old boy going through the puberty I was confused. Was my love for him real, or just hormones. Well, I-I guess it would kinda still be real if it was hormones but I ain't know puberty doctor. But you should've seen him. My god he was hot! Those soulful eyes, that coarse fur, that lifeless body that father shot. It was awkward first meeting him since he was kinda dead, i didn't know what to say. So I said a beautiful sentence.

"Calpurnia! When's dinner ready?"

And then I left, unscarred.... But I should've been. Something about him made me feel... hungry actually, I hadn't eaten for five minutes and I was starving. Those were like the dark ages. But anyway, let me tell you about how I met the light of my life, Tim Johnson.

One lazy summer afternoon, I was chillin' wit ma homi Scout , eating scuppernongs on Atticus' entailment. Scout was day dreaming bout the Dill Pickle guy. I think that's was his name - I don't know, I am not a doctor of name-ology. He was being a truant again, skipping out our super special awesome highschool 'cause he is is an edgy bad boy who don't play by no rules unless it's for Scout. That's at least what his character description is according to Wikiped..

"Yo Jem, dude!" Scout yelled in my imprudent ear.

"Ya?"

"I was just contemplating the future of Maycomb's societal norms and gender inequalities, you know, ever since Aunt Alexandra became Chancellor of the Jedi. You start to see things in a new perspective which is derived from Atticus saying to walk around in another person's shoes, which is an allegorical reference to-"

This monologue continued for 30 minutes and a 4th of a second. I am starting to feel sorrow, but I don't know why

Suddenly, I heard the chariot sounds and orchestral music coming from the west of Kanye town. It was super edgy middle school Dill! He is sooooooooooo kewl and hip with the times. Look at him wearing those designer overalls and white colored shoes that I call "wagons" I reply with a clever dictum...

"Darn Dill! Back at it again with those colorless wagons!"

"No," He replied. "Call me by my real name."

"Isn't that Dill?" I ask

"No, what mortal fools you are, sir Jem of the Finch clan! What imbecile would dare name their offspring after a sour cucumber!?" He is so charismatic.

"My true name is Charles Baker Harris! Remember it well, for it is the name that shall one day rule this pitiful planet!" He turns to Scout.

"Why, what a beautiful specimen of homo-sapaen I gaze upon with my crystal eyes of the future!" He kisses her hand, the action made me long for love that i was missing. A love so pure as that of the future god Dill pickle and Scout Finch. If a pickle and a bird could love each other, why can't I? Wait...He is a pickle named baker....What?

"Why greetings my love, my ever growing passion, my quasar of everlasting romance! What brings you to my pitiful  mortal existence?" Scout replies lovingly.

"Why, my love? That is a simple question! For you see, I have always loved you! Everything about you brings me joy. Not even a black hole can keep me away from the light of your beauty and grace! Not even a supernova could pull our hands from each other's grasp! Not even the end of this disgusting shell of a universe could tear our lips away from each other's faces! Jean Louise Finch! You are more important than the conquest of this world.. No. Thats an understatement! The conquest of this universe pales in comparison to our eternal love for each other, for it is just a speck of dust on the planet of our love."

"Oh my lord and savior!! A speck? That is nothing compared to how we both feel. There are no words in the human language to describe us! Our love is like the Tao. It just can't be explained! Kiss me now, to prove our romance to these mortal fools! For our love is purer than that of Kanye and Kanye." And then they kissed as passionately as the brightest stars shine.... damn, now I am getting all sentimental... My eyes are burning right now, it hurts!

I ran away from them, their love just made me feel hollower inside than before. Nothing could assuage me. I needed an evasion as quick as possible. But...I was blinded by the passionate-ish kiss of a Pickle and Bird.....That is when it all started...

I was walking, unknowing of where i was heading. Wherever the wind took me, I would hit a wall. That's when I heard the car sounds of a Buick, possibly owned by the chancellor, Aunt Alexandra. She's gone crazy after becoming a sith lord, she shoots lightning now... which is kinda cool, I guess. Suddenly, someone, or something, could heard panting in the distance. Sounded familiar....but why? That's when I was picked up by some scrawny muscled guy who seemed super hot...but I didn't know....Cause I was still blind. Not disregarding that plot point yet!

Then I was unblind due to his hotness. My blindness was melted away!Then he uttered a single sentence...

"Hi! I'm Tim."

TO BE CONTINUED