Quietus (H.S) (discontinued)

three

As the door slowly closed behind Harry, Brooklyn went by to sit by the piano again.

Daddy donated? So he already knew he had cancer before all of us?

As realization hit me hard, tears started to flow down my cheeks like those waterfalls.

Even I don't want live this particular life. It is like your life is tied up between medicines and hospitals. Why can't I live like some normal teenagers? Fall in love, breathe in the fresh air feeling like all the things in the world doesn't seem to be that important.

When you're dying, everything seems to be precious to you even though its just an ant or a plant which you've never notice before.

Cancer always comes in a package, not an ordinary package like Buy one t-shirt free a pair of stockings.

Cancer comes in a package with death.

As for some who are so called brave people, they usually say they don't fear death.

Yes, included me. Why do you have to fear death, when you're already dead by emotions and many other things that some normal people are suppose to have?

The phone rang loudly turning back my thoughts to reality which I hated the most.

The caller ID showed "The Blond".

Niall.

"Yes, Blondie?" I answered with a calm voice trying to hide the sadness.

Niall had known me for a very long. Well, time always doesn't matters, what really matters is how much the person really understands you and know you. They would know the times when you're down, and when you're happy and they would even know when you're on your period.

I'm not kidding.

"Rosa, it's John here. Niall's mom passed away just a while ago." It all takes those words for me to make my heart stopped.

........................................................................................................................................................

I walked into the very familiar house that has always been in my heart.

I walked down the hall receiving greetings from some unknown people but all I did was nod.

My second home. This is the spot I have always come over when I had problems with life. Niall's mom, Miss Maura who always preferred me to call her Mum or Maura too which always made Niall jealous. Maura would treat me as if I'm their own daughter and she knew about my cancer very well, all thanks to Niall.

Unlike others, Maura would always treat me like a normal person. She would never give me any special attention or anything. I always get the same amount of love and same amount of food (to avoid Niall from whining like a kid).

This place sure did held many memories. Maura was more like a mother than a friend's mom. She played a bigger role in my life compared to my own mother.

Her lost is really a great impact, not only on Niall but also on me.

As I made my way to the hall, I saw a very broken Niall sitting on the couch while he stared the view outside the window. He was lost. Lost in deep thoughts.

Beside him, Greg, his older brother was on the phone who was probably informing the other relatives.

My heart was beating as slow suiting itself to the surrounding atmosphere. What am I suppose to say to Niall?

'Sorry for you lost?'

'I'm sorry Niall to hear the sad news?'

He was my best friend for crying out loud.

And I know that he needs a friend, a true friend by his side now.

Not for comfort or any motivational words but just someone who would listen to each other's heartbeat and stay there in silence as the bad luck dances and laugh around us.

I made my way to Niall and took a seat beside the couch he sat on.

With all the remaining energy I had, I tapped on Niall's shoulder which made him turn and .....

All I saw was a young boy broken and lost in the world of thoughts which was slowly eating him up.

Based on my years with Niall, I had seen him cry over a couple of times. Sometimes I would joke around to put a pause on those tears which were flowing out.

But today, this day, now, this moment, I did not see a single tear on Niall's eyes.

Fear ate me up slowly as I wondered if Niall had reached to the point where you are very sad and helpless but you could not cry. All your tears had dried up and not a single one is flowing out.

When that point makes an appearance in your life, it will be the more painful than the feeling of a millions of knives poking you from every side. Why?

Because crying is the only way to let out all your sadness and set your fears free. But what should you do if there are no tears flowing out? How are suppose to let it out?

All you can do is to close your eyes and pray for these demons to stop eating you up.

My only next move to comfort Niall is by hugging him.

When I hugged him, all I heard was,

"What should I do now Rosa ? Who is going to comfort me when I cry after this besides you? Who's going to make me Sunday Roast even though its not Sunday? Who is going to tease me about being single? Who is going to take care of me when I'm sick? Who's going to give me motivation after this when I'm down? She left me, Rosa. Left me alone with these demons who are slowly eating me up. " Niall said in a faint voice.

Every word he said broke my heart again and again.

But he was beyond broken.

All I could offer him was some pats on his back.

....................................................................................................................................................

"Now I would like to call up Rosa, to give a speech" the priest said.

I walked up towards the coffin and placed a beautiful rose along with the white flowers. She loved roses.

I took a deep breath before started talking and never knew what I said. All I did was talk and I did'nt know what I was talking.

Niall in the other hand was dressed up in a black suit and he was staring at the gloomy looking sky getting lost in the darkness again.

'Maybe death was not so pleasant after all,' My heart whispered.