This Hostel Love

One

"Are you going to kill me too?" I ask while twisting my  blonde hair nervously...

I watch him intensely as he grins at me over his shoulder. "Sweetheart, if I was going to kill you I would have left you on the ground beside your boyfriend." He spoke so cockily but I recognized a hint of jealousy when he spoke of Blake. He was rude and aggressive. I've only just met him and it's clear to see.

I wanted to allow myself to fall apart over Blake. I have loved him for as long as I can remember, I love him but I can't seem to wrap my head around it enough to let his death sink in. Shock. That's what this must be. Everything feels as if it's happening on a screen that I'm watching. I'm watching myself be dragged by a man I would've never pictured,I'm watching Blake be killed right in front of me and I'm desperately waiting for this pretend movie to end. Except it's not a movie and my feelings are real, I know they are there underneath all the numbness.

"Okay, w-what do you want then? Money?" I let my frightened emotion slip past my  tough front.

Harry slowly walks over to the dark concrete corner where I'm sitting with my knees pulled to my chest. I can't read him, he is acting so strange despite the fact I barely know him. "I'm not going to hurt you." He whispers  inches away from my face. I swallow and nod inhaling his breath. "I need to keep you here to protect you."

"From who?" I stand up almost knocking into him. "No one would ever come after me except you!" My anger boils at the thought.  He has the audacity to act as of he cares what happens to me when he's the bad guy here? If he didn't want to hurt me he would explain, let me go, anything but this.

His lips tugged into a sloppy smile pushing my anger further towards the edge, "Calm down. No one in particular but who do you think the police are going to come after assuming they've already found that body."

I can feel my face pull into a deep scowl as the pieces are all falling into place.. "You're keeping me here to protect yourself!"

I push him as hard as I can before he grabs my wrists pushing me against the wall. "Let go!" I tell him staring into his deep green eyes. I force myself to look away before I get lost in them.

"If you really loved him," he tilts my chin to meet his calmed face holding both of my hands in one of his, "why do you stop yourself when it comes to me?"

His words confuse my head more than I thought possible. Why did he choose right now to say that to me? Why did he even say it? Of course I loved Blake I never knew love until I found him. Surely Harry is just trying to distract  me but why?

---

It has been nearly a whole week since I sat across from him at my favorite park. A month of me wondering. There's so many things I want to know, why did Harry do what he did? Is he a dangerous criminal on the run? I can't decide if I want to question if he'd hurt me. What I wonder most of all is why the hell did we pick that park? If we would have just simply chosen somewhere else, our lives would be perfectly fine. Everything would be the same.

I could be resting in our living room while Blake cooked me breakfast. He would make some corny joke and I would laugh because I find everything funny before I've had coffee. Everything becomes so silly when I'm tired. Blake would kiss me and all would be right in the world we were building together.

The familiar light knock pulls me from my crippling thoughts, "Ummm, we are..." He coughs nervously clearing  his throat. I watch his hair fall against his forehead while he rubs his neck and let a tear slide down my cheek. "We're sort of leaving."

My eyes search for his, wanting to find some kind of further explanation but his stay focused on the floor. "Okay." I say plainly and walk over to him.

"Okay." He says clearly confused by my willingness. I'm probably the best hostage he's ever I had, I think to myself.

I notice two men waiting in the hall one of which I notice from that day. He looked calm and collected while the other looked quite unattractive and frightening, in an uneasy way. I close the small gap between Harry and I allowing my fingers to wrap around his.

His eyebrows furrow together making me instantly regret my decision. I was afraid and for some reason found comfort in the  constant that has been Harry. I know that he is probably no better or safer tham the men but I also know he has had plenty opportunities to do unimaginable things to me and hasn't. When he glances at me I keep my eyes focused straight ahead and hope he doesn't bring it up again.

---

The car ride is a silent and uncomfortable as I expected and the way Harry's eyes keep wandering to me isn't helping. I have so many things I want to ask him. Things that I should be asking him but all I seem to want to do is find out who he is. Not the Harry that most people see but what he is all about. What kind of cereal does he eat in the morning, does he even eat cereal? If I focus on the everyday details about him it keeps me from the thoughts of what other horrible things he's done, like how many people has he killed. I have to train my brain to pretend that he is a normal person. It's the only thing keeping me calm enough to get through this.

"This is going to be home for the next few days." He tells me bluntly before getting out of the black SUV. I miss the security and warmth when his body pulls away from mine. I miss it so much that I don't realize the sting on my palms as they scrape along the concrete.

"Sorry. My foot slipped." I apolize feeling my cheeks heat up. I stare at the blood rolling down my wrist and follow close by his side into the large house.

"You don't have to apolize." He tells me quietly. "Come here."

I follow him inside and take in my new surroundings. The walls are white with paintings covering most of the space. I notice all of them are black and although there's hardly any color it brings life to the large room. My feet patter along side Harry's until we reach the bathroom.

I'm caught off guard by his fingertips digging into my waist, "Harry," I gasp not knowing what to prepare myself for. Fear filling my head and my heart pounding. I relax when he lets me go, setting me on top of the granite counter.

"Did you think I was going to hurt you?" His voice is cautious but his face shows pain, is he offended that I would think that? Given the fact that I just watch him murder someone he never knew.

"You did didn't  you?" He reads my confused expression all too well. I shake my head and lock eyes with him. He has such deep eyes, the kind that hold a person's soul behind all the painful gloss.

"What did you think," Harry moves closer to me slightly. I can tell he doesn't want to scare me. "Please tell me? I'm dying to know what you're thinking, how you feel about all of this.." He begs stepping between my legs and bringing all the heat he radiates with him. This is the first time he's ever shown me any kind of emotion. Emotion looks good on him, it makes him appear soft and more...beautiful.

"I thought you were coming onto me." I say honestly. Harry makes me nervous and uncomfortable but also feel safe at the same time and it confuses me more than anything. I sheepishly look down at my blood stained shirt instead of him.

Before I know it his dark curls are beneath me and he is grinning from ear to ear. "We should get you cleaned up yeah?" I nod looking down at him while he takes my hands in his.