This Hostel Love

Seven

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow." Harry blandly states while slurping another noodle  into his mouth. Chinese takeout was an insanely good idea especially combined with how comfortable these sheets feel against my skin.

"Oh really?" I question unsure if I should be excited or uneasy.

"Yes, we've known each other for awhile know and its been a few months since," he pauses allowing me to awkwardly realize what he's meaning. "you know... anyways you are most likely low on the radar now so I was thinking about taking you out, like for real this time."

The pain that momentarily ran through my cheeks at the memory of Harry and Blake that day fades. Instead it's replaced with an unfamiliar feeling one that makes my stomach turn to mush and my cheeks heat. A date. An actual normal people, in society date. This has got to be worth something. This is a good thing I think to myself. "That sounds nice." I say, trying to hide the inner part of me that wants to scream and squeal.

"Alright then." He says seriously while looking down. How romantic I think to myself.

Later that evening I couldn't help myself, sleeping felt impossible. I was beyond excited for tomorrow to come. One, because I haven't been out in the world in an excessively long time and two, Harry was taking me out. Neither of us have really acted like we wanted to take any steps further. Hell, I don't think we even know what we are anymore. Is there even an us?

Us could mean so many things. Us, the strange, charismatic couple who found love out of tragedy. Or us, the kidnapping murder and his mourning  prisoner. I suppose it's this deep feeling inside me that leans me towards the first option because regardless of what Harry and I may or may not be, I know he feels something when it comes to me. I know it because I never had feelings like this myself until he came into my life.

My mind wanders to my first date with Blake. I was seventeen and craving for someone to love me. I had my mother practically breathing down my neck any time a boy would look at me but I always felt like settling for just anyone wasn't love. I mean sure it's nice to feel loved by someone, to have affection and interest in you but I was starving for something much deeper. I'll admit I loved Blake, he was my first love and there will always be feelings there but even then I felt our relationship was too planned out. We were the perfect couple. Everyone wanted to be us, we never fought mainly because we both knew what was expected of us. We behaved more like two people who got along great instead of lovers. There was no passion, no drive-me-crazy kind of love between us. We were just comfortable.

He took me to a field on a hot summer night. Which was everything I could've asked for except it was probably the hottest day of the year. My dress stuck to my skin as sweat dripped down my legs in the most sticky manner. We sat on the tailgate of his dirty, dusty truck and watched the nothingness that surrounded us. He told me about his four brothers and how they were all happily married like we would be one day. I remember laughing at how confident he was that we would end up together. I wonder if he's laughing now where ever he is...

---

I stumbled my way down the hall looking for Harry. I called out for him but the only answer I got was a few creeks from the house. Sometimes I wonder what these walls would say if they could talk, the things they must've seen... There is so many things Harry has done, so many things about his life I know nothing about.

Coffee. I smile at the smell that fills the empty kitchen. As I'm pouring the deliciously addictive, liquid energy I notice the small note on the counter. 'Sorry to leave you this morning, you looked stunning drooling next to me. I won't be long I promise. Can't wait for date night, love Harry.'  I couldn't help but laugh while reading his barely eligible handwriting. Of course he would find a way to tease me, but I can see how hard he's really trying here. He isn't exactly a man of many emotions so for him to commit to a "date night" is a bit out of character but sincere. It made more excited.