The Choices We Make

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"If only you had boobs, you'd have, like, the perfect body."

"What?"

"Yeah, because you're like super skinny and you have a nice booty, but girl you've got no boobs."

"Yes, I realize that, thanks."

"Have you ever even done anything with a guy? Like besides kissing?"

"No. I'm a Christian."

"You're missing out. So you've never let a guy, you know, touch you or anything at all?"

"No."

"Haha wow. I've done so many things with my boyfriend."

I looked down at the table in my ninth grade life class. The girls at my table had this terrible habit of telling me all about their sex lives and then somehow turning the conversation around to my lack of breasts, as if I didn't realize how small my own boobs were! "Mosquito bites," they'd call me. "Boobless." "Flat-chested." "Speed bumps." And these girls were overweight while I was around 120 lbs and five foot four, pretty much the perfect size. But no boobs. That just ruined my looks apparently.

"Can you believe Taylor has never done anything but kiss a guy?" Briana said to Caitlin.

"Well, she is a Christian. They just aren't allowed to have any fun, you know."

"Yeah, did you see that list of what she should and shouldn't do for God taped to her daily agenda?"

"I saw it. Taylor... are you sure you aren't taking your religion too far?"

"You can't take God too far," I replied.

"I think you've managed it."

Finally the bell rang, ending another torturous 45 minute life class. Just the rest of the school year to go. My best friend Kennedy walked up to me and said hi.

"Hey," I sighed. I was getting extremely irritated with all the bashing on my body.

"Hey, girl. What's the matter?"

"Briana and Caitlin keep making fun of me for how small my feaking boobs are. Like I can help it!"

"Ugh that's just not right. You're way prettier than them anyway."

"Thanks. It just makes me mad that they say stuff like that when they have no right to."

"Well say something about it!"

"Maybe I will."

LIfe class was the next to last period of the day, so I got to go home shortly afterwards. As usual, I went straight to my room when I got home. Not because I had family problems or anything, in truth my family was great. It was me who was the problem. Despite my Christian status at school, church, and among my friends, I still had trouble with anger issues at home. I would say terrible things to my parents without even really meaning to. Then I'd get my phone taken away, which would end with me saying even more hateful things that I really wished I could take back. So sometimes I just wallowed in my solitude, trying not to cause any more trouble than I already had.

"Dinner time!" My mom shouted up the stairs. It always irritated me when she interrupted me while I was reading or watching TV, but that was pretty much all the time so there was really no way to avoid it. "Just let me finish this chapter!"

"Dinner time is now! You can finish the chapter later!"

"Ugh, fine, whatever!"

"Now don't give me that attitude, missy!"