.•+•The monster that lives within•+•.

.•Chapter 5/The Broken Boy I am•.

Cade woke up not even remembering falling asleep, 'must be the calming medication they gave to me.' He thought and turned his head to the side to see his mother standing besides his bed.
She put her hand on his cheek then pulled away. "Honey, the doctor said you will have to stay here for two to four weeks for evaluation, and to make sure you're stable enough to come back home.." She said in a strong tone. Her voice was a mix of irritation and sadness.
Cade just stared at her not saying anything at all but then whispering, "You should have let me go, mother.." He now staring out the window that was across the room and large enough to see through from where he was lying. Sure enough it was raining again. It rains all the time especially in spring, to midsummer. Cade wasn't bothered at all by this weather. In fact he very much enjoyed it.
His mother realizing what he said cut Cade out of his thoughts, "Listen, I love you. I wouldn't let you die. You're my baby." she states. "Well mother, that's not what father said.." He growled back. "why must you always fight with me. Why can't you just believe me." She snapped.
Cade didn't even bother explaining himself. He turned his body back towards the window and away from his mom. He observed how beautiful it was outside once again. "Well, I'll be on my way, goodbye Cade I'll be back to visit." Cades mom quickly said, then she grabbed her purse and left. Clearly upset.
Cade let out a sigh. He remained facing the window for hours upon hours. He never moved until his doctor walked in, then he was forced to turn around. "Hello Cade, I'm your doctor, you can just call me Schmidt." He said in a normal doctorly tone.
Cade grinned noticing something about his doctor's last name, "Ah, I see your German too..?" Cade says in a soft tone almost a whisper. "Yes, I'm originally from Germany, just as you are."
Schmidt continues, "I even studied there in psychology and medicine. It was quite tricky to master if I must say." He stated. Cade nodding to show he was still paying attention. "That's cool." Cade now laying on his side looking at the doctor.
"Well Cade, let's get to it. I'm going to ask you some simple questions that may or may not be upsetting to you. Please answer them as honestly as you can." Dr. Schmidt grabbed a professional looking paper that had Cades information on it and a pen to write with.
He flipped the paper to the back for a blank page. "Okay, but I can't promise you anything.." Cade added then sighed.
The Doctor clicked his pen so it was able to be written with, and began his question asking spree, "How's your home life?" He said eager to get the assessment over with, it was obvious it wasn't his favorite thing to do.
"Uh, okay I guess. A little violence here and there. I live in what you call a broken home.." Cade answered truthfully as he could. "Mhm I see, what about your social life, like school and such?" He said writing the previous information down. "Well, I'm quite the loner you see. I don't really have friends nor do I have a social life. I'm constantly bullied." Cade looked away back to the window the sky now darker and the rain pouring heavily upon the hospital's roof.
Dr Schmidt already looked very concerned and the assessment just started, 'Ugh.. Great Cade add time to your psyche hold.. Smart idea..' He thought. "Interesting, these questions may be difficult to answer. Have or do you currently self harm? How many times on a daily basis do you experience suicidal thoughts?" Doctor Schmidt said with his full attention on Cade.
Cade sighs loudly clearly in distress now. "I have many scars and fresher wounds as you can see.." Cade points to all the scars on both arms since he's in a hospital gown so what's the point of lying now, the doctor has already clearly seen them. "As for my suicidal tendencies, I've been in and out of mental hospitals my whole life. I wouldn't be here in this hospital right now if it weren't for my suicidal thoughts and actions.." Cade then points to his neck to show the bruise mark from the rope from the current attempt.
The doctor gave Cade a sad frown. "This is my final question for today. From what you know, what are all the mental illnesses you have?" Cade quickly responded knowing his mental illnesses well, "several severe depressions, like Bipolar depression, several severe anxieties, and OCD, maybe some others I may not know of.." Cade turned back to the window getting tired again from the medicines inserted his IV drip.
"I'll be going now, thank you for being responsive. I'll check in later for now rest." Dr. Schmidt sounding serious now. He stood up and left the room quickly. When Cade heard the door close he began to sob remembering all the shit he's been through. He remembered it when Schmidt was talking about his depression and home life. "I just want to be okay, I just for once want things to go okay and not completely shitty all the time.." He said to himself knowing the door was closed so he wouldn't sound insane and not manly for crying.