Aries - Mabel Pines- 'Maybe we're being ker-prank'd. Justin Kerprank is going to jump out from behind one of these plants any minute now... any minute now Justin...'
Taurus - Wendy Cordoroy - 'You just gotta roll with Mabel's craziness man. It's what makes life worth living.'
Gemini - Bill Cipher - 'Oh that's a great offer. How about I shuffle the functions of every hole in you face instead?'
Cancer - Soos Ramirez - 'That's an amazing rhyme. When you want some good... when you need a Soos you... oh, oh gosh, I don't know.'
Leo - Robbie Valentino - 'Wendy! Oh. Uh. Hey. What's up? Just hanging out in the grave you know. Regular. Regular day for me.'
Virgo - Dipper Pines - 'Urgh. They're doing that couple hug walk. Guys you're in public, people can see you.'
Libra - Pacifica North-West - 'Hey you two, when are you going to open your presents already? I broke a nail wrapping them!'
Scorpio - Stanley Pines - 'I spent thirty years trying to bring you back to this dimension and you still haven't thanked me. You want me to shake your hand, say thank you.'
Sagittarius - Grenda - 'Forget that, Grenda's gonna look at cute boys through skylights.'
Capricorn - Stanford Pines - 'Dipper, I've been thinking. I'm getting too old to investigate Gravity Falls on my own. I need to train an apprentice to help me fight monsters, solve mysteries, and protect this town. And I think I'd–I'd like to keep it in the family.'
Aquarius - Fiddleford McGucket - 'Hello? Fiddleford Computermajigs?.. You say you're tryin' to build a transuniversal polydimensional metavortex? Well that's mathematically feasible! I reckon (spits).'
Pisces - Candy Chiu - 'What's your favourite colour?' 'Magic Vision poster.'