and I'm here to remind you, what's lost is never gone

XV

When Dan wakes it's to the surprise of the feeling of his mattress beneath him, his covers drawn carefully over his frame. It takes him a moment or two to really process what's happening but after a brief moment of trying to recollect his memories, he sits up slowly, a pounding sensation in his head almost causing him to fall back against his pillows.

The last thing he can remember is people, his friends, crowding around him, calling his name urgently, someone shaking his shoulder. He's sure he passed out but his memories feel hazy, distorted, and his head hurts when he tries to remember exactly what happened. In the end he stops trying to recall the exact events that took place before he woke up in his bed, but the one thing he does remember quite clearly is that he was in another reality, one where Arin didn't exist.

Trying not to move too quickly, his body sluggish already and his head feeling as though it's ready to fall off his neck at any moment, he reaches for his phone on the bedside table. When he presses the on button the screen lights up, alerting him that it's nearing half past ten in the morning and that he has a few new text messages. He opens them with caution, wary of who the texts may be from, but his heart flutters wildly in his chest when he sees who they're from.

Arin 8.28am

hey Dan, you up for playing some more Zelda?

Arin 8.56am

so pumped for today dude, get your sweet ass over to the office !

Dan can't help but laugh at that last text but an uneasy feeling twists in his stomach; are they really texts from Arin? Could he possibly be dreaming? Is he really back in his own reality? If he's honest with himself he feels as though he may be having a nervous breakdown that's caused him to imagine that Arin is alive and texting him, when in reality he's still trapped in the alternate reality and Arin isn't alive at all.

He knows there's only one way to find out, so he throws back the covers and quickly gets changed before he heads out of his bedroom and down the hallway towards the front door. He doesn't see anyone when he passes by the entrance to the living room and kitchen, and assumes that Barry has already left without him so he grabs his coat, slips on his shoes, and heads out of the front door.

The wind's cold against his bare cheeks, brisker than he thought it would be, and he takes his beanie out of his coat pocket to shove over his mass of curls. The streets are as busy as they usually are but he doesn't pay the people on the pavement or the people in their cars any mind; they're not his priority.

Walking to the Grump space doesn't take long, and the closer Dan gets to the office the more he can hear his blood pumping in his ears. His heart is beginning to hammer itself against his ribcage and his hands feel sweaty with nerves. He shoves them into his jacket pockets so he doesn't begin to wring his fingers together anxiously, but it doesn't stop his breathing becoming shallow, or untie the knot that's tied itself together in his stomach.

By the time he's standing outside the Grump office he almost feels as though he's going to begin shaking with the nerves that are wracking through him. Although he received those text messages from Arin this morning they don't feel valid enough to be proof that Dan's returned home and that Arin is alive. To confirm his friend's existence, Dan needs to see him, to touch him and talk to him, to hear his voice. Nothing will convince him that Arin's alive again until he sees him for himself and yet he can barely bring himself to go over to the front door and open it.

He desperately wants to believe that he's home again, that just beyond the front door of the office Arin is in there, waiting for him with open arms and a smile. Dan wants so desperately to believe it that he feels immobilised by the thought that maybe Arin won't be waiting for him when he does goes to open the door, that the reality of him still being in the alternate universe will bring his world, and what little hope he has, crumbling down around him. He doesn't think he can handle that and so he doesn't move towards the door.