My Thoughts From My Life

I am starting this again. I have been thinking about Deep Freeze 2016 and that if we ourselves don't write our life, who will? Will anyone in the future know we lived when we are dead? If we don't write our story, where we ever alive on earth as we know it today? All these questions and no answers. This is MY story. Things like names have been changed. Some days it's like I just want to die. Like there is no point in living not like I could do anything to change  this world or anything but other days it's like I'm scared to think about leaving this world. I think that if I died the only people that would miss me are my dad, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles, my amazing boyfriend at the time, Justus, Martin, McKenna, my friends Faith, Desiree, and Nicole, my cousins, Barb and Lincoln, some of my siblings and maybe my mom. That's about 24 people. I don't know if that's a good enough reason but I don't wanna leave my boyfriend just because I am depressed and no one seems to care. Legit he is the only person that cares that I am depressed because he understands me and loves me. My foster mom doesn't believe me that I am depressed or shit but I have the self harm marks to prove it. I told her last night and she's like "if u where depressed, u wouldn't care about  anything." That's fucking bullshit but whatever. No one believes me. If I wasn't depressed I wouldn't have cut myself multiple times. I just wouldn't have. I know I should talk to someone but the only person that would listen to me is my boyfriend and even though I love him, it's not good enough. My class doesn't help the fact that they are usually the reason.  They are so rude and stuff that I do want to switch classes or kill myself. They don't care about anyone. People are put down every day and they don't care. I am sick of this class and I am sick of this world.