False Dreams And High Hopes

REUNITED

Things weren't all that bad at home, the beatings lightened up, my aunt was easing up on us and we got the biggest and greatest news of all time

After all this time my dream finally came true , after all the lonely nights crying begging God to please send me my mom, after all the abuse we endured, it was all coming together.

When I was in elementary school I used to line up with the car riders so I could stand outside . I just knew that my mommy was coming to get us I felt it! But I guess I wasn't hopeful enough she never showed. It kind of made me bitter as a child.

The day we got the great news was the best moment of my life! I mean it was finally happening
The lady who I always pictured in my life has FINALLY reached out! !
I don't know how my aunt took it at first but when she gave us the news she gave us an option as well. We could stay or we could go but the catch was that if we left there was no coming back. I didn't think that was fair at all.
It's amazing how my brain works, at the age of 13 I was a conscious thinker. In my mind all I could think about was what if I leave and it's not what I thought it was going to be or what if she's worse than my aunt or what if she didn't like us. I didn't know what to think , it was like I was overwhelmed, yes this is what I wanted but I didn't think it would actually become a reality.
You guys I'm a strong believer in perfect timing and everything happens for a reason, something didn't sit right with me, in the back of my mind I had a bad feeling about just up and leaving.
I did the unthinkable, the day my mom came and we embraced one another, I can't lie it felt right, wrong, and awkward. I didn't know what to say or do. Tiara was more open about the whole thing. I just couldn't put my finger on it. When my mom got the news that I wasn't going back to miami with them I think her feelings were crushed, I don't know what she thought but I wasn't ready mentally.

Damn I missed her, our late night talks, our arguments about who was getting in the shower first, our walks or bike rides to school and most of all I missed her presence. Depression is a disease if you allow it to be.
There was nothing that could cheer me up. I mean at first it didn't really hit me, but me being with out her the only person in the world who knew my history was starting to bother me. I confess I had to give in!! When I used to conversate with tiara over the phone she'd tell me "man momma's great", and how she was having so much fun. Then I'd talk with Tanny for a bit and she'd ask me if I was ready to come home. Tanny is what I called her for a while. Mom, mommy, momma, none of those names sounded right coming from my mouth.
Why did my brain and my heart reject her? I was mad as hell that's why! ! How could you leave us? After ten long miserable years here you come back in my life thinking every thing is OK. Well I became very rebellious and more stubborn!

When I decided that I was ready, I gave my aunt the news and I could feel her hurt, it was like ok I can deal with one leaving but both of them. We were like her kids, ten years is a long time to be around someone with out having some type of love for that person , let's be honest.
The day finally came for me to be reunited with the only thing in life that really mattered to me, Tiara! !!
I didn't care about anything else.

Home sweet home

Miami was amazing! We had freedom finally. I can't say the living arrangements were all that great, we shared a room with my little brother. He was 3 at the time, he didn't take up that much space but it was crowded.
I was kind of aggravated about it but that was the least of my concerns. Tiara and I still had a bond but I could tell that she was already changing or finding herself, more like exploring considering the fact we were on lock down majority of the time. She had made friends and all.
We moved to the most dangerous part of miami at the time. OVERTOWN
At first I didn't know much but I found out quickly how real shit was. Man overtown was savage. It was the worst experience ever.
At first I was too shy to go outside and I had no words for my old girl, any time I needed or wanted something I would never call on my mom,I would ask tiara to ask for me no matter what it was I would wait for tiara to ask. Tiara wasn't happy with the way I was acting , she kind of forced me to break out of my shell. I got the hang of it after a while too and it was great.
We went places with our new found momma, she bought us anything we wanted, and she made our lives even greater when she bought us our very first cell phones.
I can remember as soon as we got them the first person we called was our aunty well I did and thinking that she would be excited for us, I told her that my mommy bought us our own phones! She wasn't mad but she didn't respond the way I thought she would. Next thing you know she's telling my old girl that she was buying our love which was partially true but still stop hating! We was enjoying life it felt like for the first time and here she is being a hater. What more could we ask for .
I hate to admit it but my aunty was right though.
My old girl had a decent job a nice little car, she had everything going on for herself . She had a boyfriend which was Andrews dad but not biologically.
But the job she was working, she had a crush on supervisor Kevin. I'll never forget that man, he was so nice and not just a surface, meeting a stranger nice, he was genuine type of nice.

I can't say that I fully remember everything especially the small details but I do know that things started to get dry. I didn't like school well it wasn't the school it was them bad ass kids. And I wasn't appreciating the fact that she treated Andrew a little bit better than us, and by that I mean he was spoiled, I guess we envied him, he was everything we weren't. She said Andrew was a miracle baby and he stopped her from using during the pregnancy. She just treated him differently than us. It was all about Andrew don't get me wrong I love my little brother but why we couldn't have what he had not materialistic but that bond, she looked at him different even.

Two months was all our big happy family had together before she relapsed! Crazy huh? Yea I know.