Killing You. ~Ben Bruce~

Believe.

Let me explain myself before I go any further. My name is Delilah Bettley. Whenever something scares me, I run. I run away from every problem I have. Every fear. Everything. That's why I ran from Ben 6 months ago. You may ask why. Well, I can explain. 

*flashback*

Ben and I had been dating a mere  12 months. The best 12 months of my life, I may add. He treated me like a princess. He was my everything. Seriously. 

One night, everything changed though. 

I had been on a few tour dates with Asking Alexandria, visiting the boys. Sam Bettley is my big brother. Ben Bruce is my boy friend. The rest of the boys were like brothers to me, I felt at home with them. But that was short lived.

It was the last night I was there. Ben and I's 1 year anniversary. He remembered it. It was coming to a close, when the lights all dimmed with a spot light on Ben, holding an acoustic guitar. James came over and threw me over his shoulder, bringing me on stage, smirking at everyone as if it was nothing. 

Before I knew what was happening Ben was singing an acoustic version of 'Someone, Somewhere', my absolute favorite song by Asking. "So, Delilah, I know it's only been a year. But, I truly love you. If you would, would you please make me the happiest man on the face of this earth, and be my wife?" Ben questions, getting on one knee and pulling out a black velvet box, opening it to reveal a ring. Beautiful is an understatement. It's a silver band, with little diamonds following the whole thing, and in the center is a black diamond- my favorite. It was perfect. "I- I.." I couldn't. Commitment. It was too much. So I ran off stage, and to the bus. I packed everything, and called a cab. Before anyone could come out of the venue, I was gone. And there was no looking back. 

I ended up flying home to England. The boys couldn't come here because of touring purposes, so I was safe here for at least 3 months. For a while, every one of them called or texted me non stop- freaking out because I didn't reply to any of them. I replied to Sam once, telling him that I was safe, but that was it. I couldn't do it. So I ran. Far, far away from the problem. 

I know that engagement should be something happy, but I was scared. I mean, we had only been together for a year. Loving him was scary enough, but commitment? Ha. Yeah right. I can barely make it to a 6 week class without skipping after the first one. But I've always been that way.

I check up on their instagrams/twitters a lot. I miss them so much. Ben seems to have gone in to a deep depression. He seems...broken. But I can't fix it. Not after I started it. 

I feel terrible. Leaving like that, with no explanations...no goodbye.. 

But I had to. 

I was scared, and that was the only solution.

I miss them all, more than anything.

Mostly I miss Ben and Sam. 

One day, I will go back to them. I will. Eventually. Soon. But not today. 

But I will forever love him. No matter what. 

SO? Anything? This is going to get better, I promise. I'm bad at starting stuff.