Friday, August 18 is probably the worst day of the year.
Today is the anniversary of when I got in the car crash with my mom and sister. Tomorrow would be the day that I woke up from my coma and was told they were dead.
I wasn't going to go to school today. I just planned on staying at the cemetery for the majority of the afternoon.
I awoke at about 9:30, but I didn't get up just yet. I simply laid there, remembering the moment I was told the news.
I opened my eyes to a way too bright room. Everything was white, which made it all the worse. It gave me headache. My left leg, right arm, and neck hurt too. I was pretty sure it wasn't because of the bright color in the room. I tried to get up, but I suddenly got this sharp pain in my chest.
I sucked a breath, which was actually quite difficult, in through my teeth and slowly laid back down.
I heard the door open and a woman in a nurses' outfit walked in.
"Oh good hun. Your up." She said in a friendly tone, smiling at me at writing something on the clipboard she had in her hands.
I then became aware there was a steady beeping noise next to me and there was an IV tube stuck in my left arm.
"My head hurts." WOW my voice hurt! I was barely able to talk above a smokers' whisper.
"Really? I'm sorry hun. Let me check you out." She said, walking over and putting a flashlight in my eyes .
"Where's my mom?" I rasped as she was examining my injuries and checking her clipboard.
She suddenly stopped and didn't look at me for a couple seconds.
Then she slowly turned her eyes onto mine, it looked like she was deciding how to phrase something.
"I-I'm sorry hun. It was a hit and run and the hit was on your mom's side." She looked as though she said this to people all the time and was getting too old for it.
I suddenly found it harder to breathe.
My mom is dead.
But I had the tiniest spark of hope.
"Lucy?"
She seemed confused for a second, then the realization hit her. She just shook her head.
I was alone.
I awoke from my daydream with tears streaming down my cheeks.
I had to be strong today, though. I couldn't let my mom, especially not Lucy, see how much I was hurting.
I wiped my face and slowly got dressed. I walked into the bathroom and tried to clear my eyes from the redness of my earlier emotional breakdown.
When I decided I was decent enough to go out, I grabbed the extra car keys we had, (we always had a spare car in the garage, for reasons I'm not sure of but I was sure glad it was there this morning) and started off to get my Mcdonald's breakfast.
I arrived at the cemetary, took a deep breath, grabbed my Mcdonald's, and got out the car.
I walked down the familiar path to the twin headstones and plopped down right in between them. I gingerly placed the flowers, daisies and tulips, on the grass in front of me and slowly pulled the wrapper off my Mcgriddle.
I wasn't too hungry though. It seemed wrong to eat so yummy in such a depressing place. I just pushed it to the side for when I was really hungry.
"Hey mom, Luce. I can't believe it been 4 years. Time just passed... too fast." I took a shaky breath. "So Mom, Brad came up to me again yesterday. But, you don;t need to worry, Stacie took care of it again." I chuckled humorlessly. "Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Why aren't you in school, young lady?' Calm down, I just called in sick so I could spend the whole day with you guys. I wanted it to feel like old times, just us 3 girls." I could feel the tears threateningly pricking at my eyes. I suddenly had a random memory. "Remember the time you yelled at me for eating a whole carton of ice cream for dinner then blamed it on Lucy? Heh, that ice cream was really good. I miss it." One tear fell silently down my cheek. "I miss you mom. I wish you were still here for me to have someone to talk to. I need you." I was almost sobbing uncontrollably now. "Why'd you have to go?"
It took a couple minutes for me to be able to stop crying long enough to speak. I had to be strong, I thought. For Lucy, atleast.
"Oh and Lucy. Janessa is asking about you again. She doesn't seem to remember...She's OK though. Her mom emails me sometimes. It's nice to hear from her." Janessa was Lucy's absolute best friend she made in kindergarten. Janessa was Special Ed though, but Lucy didn't care. She was so patient with her. She wouldn't ever get mad at her. "So Luce. About 2 weeks, it'll be your birthday! You're going to be 10 years old! Double digits! I'll be sure to bring your present around. I hope you like it." The tears were starting to flood again. I looked away from the graves and closed my eyes so they wouldn't see how much I was hurting.
When I opened my eyes back up, I noticed there was a man leaning against a tree about 40 yards away, staring at me. When he noticed I noticed him, it looked like he talked into his wrist then walked away.
Uhm...
I looked at my phone and saw it was already 12.
I had been here for an hour and a half already.
I grabbed my now cold breakfast and stiffly stood up.
"I'll be back. I'm just going to get some lunch. I promise." I kissed my fingertips and touched each of the headstones. "I love you."
I turned away before I decided to starve myself.
I threw my stuff in a nearby trash can and started towards the car.
As I was walking, my mind crept back to the man staring at me in the cemetery.
What was he doing?
I decided that if I saw him again, I'd call the police.
Well, that compromise didn't end up lasting long.
When I wasn't too far from the car, I noticed that the same guy was leaning up against my car with his arms crossed, scanning the area.
I put my hand in my pocket and gripped my cell phone, prepared for the worst.
When he saw me, he shoved himself off the car and started walking towards me.
Shit.
I pretended I had just realized that I was going the wrong way and walked in another direction, but he continued to walk my way. I started to panic and walk a little faster in another direction.
I took my phone out of my pocket and pretended like I was texting.
I was consistently, somewhat casually, peeking up from my phone to see if he was still coming my way.
Yup.
Alright, time to scream.
I was about to open my mouth and let out the loudest ear-piercing scream ever made when I hand covered my mouth.
