Self Harm - The Cover Up

"I grabbed a part of the broken glass and engraved my skin with it. Blood rushed out with every heart beat, a sign that I was still alive even though I felt dead inside." I relived that moment again. I could feel the adrenaline kicking in, the freedom attached to this feeling made the urge even stronger.

"Did it hurt?" asked Vivenne curiously

"It's a nice type of pain. The type of pain which you have control over. It's familiar" i said, "and familiar is comfortable. We know it works, that's why we always go back to it."

Vivienne looked sympathetic and glanced over at the clock and gave me the look that said this session was over. She walked me to where my parents were waiting for me and I returned home while avoiding conversation with them.

I rushed to the bathroom and took out my hidden blades and before I knew it blood was rushing out. I felt so calm.

It was late at night and I sneaked out through the window to meet up with my friends. The breeze felt so nice and soothing against my skin, I almost wanted to fall asleep.

"Last shot!" I said "Im starting to feel tipsy already."

Everyone was already drunk and running around like a group of idiots, no one knew what they were doing.

I could hear the sound of a siren of a police car coming closer and closer, followed by red and blue flashing lights.

"Run, the cops are after us" I yelled while attempting to run away.

Everyone panicked and ran in different directions. I followed Jake and managed to escape into the park. We hid in the slides and remained there for half an hour incase the cops came back looking for us. We moved down beside the benches where Jake passed out so I stayed and looked after him till he woke up again.

"What happened?" he asked

I told him everything I could remember and we both sat in silence looking up at the sky.

He looked at me and I looked back, we kept eye contact and he reached out for my lips and kissed me. He held my face gently and pressed up against me. His lips were soft but passionate at the same time. I could feel my heart beat faster. He pulled my top off and reached under my bra. I shivered from the cold while he leaned over me. I unzipped his jeans and slowly took them off while he undressed every inch of my body and entered me.

I groaned with pleasure and kissed him hard on the neck. His muscles pressed against me with every move he made. I ran out of breath and from excitement and felt my body move with pleasure as I reached an orgasm. I groaned louder and finally I felt him come inside me.

Jake lay down and whispered "wow". We both got dressed and he walked me home. I kissed him goodbye and sneaked back into the house.