Self Harm - The Cover Up

Chapter 3

I sat up on my bed with my arms around my legs for quite a while. I didn't want to believe it so I took 7 other pregnancy tests hoping the other ones were wrong. I can't be pregnant, my parents would kill me, like literally. I didn't know what to do.

Days later I had to return back to school. There was no purpose of me being there, I couldn't concentrate on anything but the fact that I was carrying a baby. I didn't speak to anyone because I knew I would get carried away and tell anyone about it looking for some comfort. I just wanted someone to tell me it would all be okay.

I carried on for weeks without making any contact with anyone. As I sat in the cafeteria for lunch break, Mrs. Scavo walked up to me and asked me to go see her in her office after lunch.

I panicked. What if she knew what was going on? Was I getting bigger and everyone had found out?

"Thank you for coming to see me Gabbie. I recieved some concerns about your behaviour lately. Would you like to talk about what is getting to you?" she asked in a very sweet tone. The kind of tone parents put on when they try comfort their children after a nightmare.

"Oh, nothing's been going on Mrs. Scavo, I've just been feeling unwell and been exhausted for the past couple of weeks." my hands were sweating, I prayed to God she would just fall for it and move on

"See I think there is more to it, as a counsellor I can pick up on your body language more than you think. The moment you walked in my office you seemed very fidgety, irritated, started tapping your foot and it all makes you seem very anxious even though your voice sounds somewhat calm..."

In my head I imagined my parents reaction when they found out I am pregnant. I could see my mother screaming and pulling her hair out, wishing she had a better child. The look in her eyes would say "You'll wish you were never born."

"Well Gabbie?" I didn't hear a word she said

"Mrs. Scavo I really appreciate your concern but there is nothing for me to say. I must get back to class, thank you though." I grabbed my bag and jumper and walked out, not giving her a chance to argue back.

I ran to the bathroom, sat on the floor and just broke down. I hated this feeling, I hated myself for ending up like this.

I searched my bag for a blade but it seemed to be lost. I was going crazy. I looked around the sink for something sharp but nothing. I started to panic. I reached for my phone and smashed the mirror with it. Pieces of glass fell all over the sink, I grabbed it, it was so sharp that it cut my hand. My hand was stinging so much, there was blood dripping on the floor and all over my uniform. I ignored the pain and cut deep into my wrist. The pain was unbearing, blood was going everywhere and I started to feel dizzy. I sat on the floor, hoping my life would end.