Lost in the madness

Chapter One

Chapter 1

As I packed away the last of my memories, I stared at the stranger who I'm going to leave behind in England. Why does it all happen to me I wonder, it's all your fault, it keeps chanting in my head. I know it's my fault , I argue back.

It's my fault everyone hates me, it's my fault everything happened, it's my fault we have to move.... We're moving ... I can have a fresh start, but I can't let anyone in to my world, that would make everything worse, they could see who I really am. NOBODY is allowed to know who I really am, they will hate me as well.

Just as I started sitting down on the floor my dad called "Alexis we're going now! Collect the last of your boxes to put in the van!", as I looked around my room for the last time I feel... Joy. I'm getting away from the past I don't need to worry, but I also feel depressed, what will people think of me, of my eyes, of my face, of my body. Well your going to keep yourself covered aren't you? Your not going to let them in are you? It replies from my head.
"ALEXIS, I SAID GET MOVING OR WE'LL LEAVE YOU! COME ON!!"

I laugh slightly, it's not like he wouldn't want to do that anyway. Ever since it happened all he wants to do is get rid of me, I don't even think he considers me his daughter anymore.
I sighed and walked up to my rusty boxes that contain my things and started to trudge downstairs with them in my hand. As I got to the bottom I headed outside and put them in the dirty, white van that has always creeped me out. Once I put them in, I close the boot door to the van and look up to the greying sky. That's one thing I will not miss about England, the terrible weather. I swear to god it changes its mind every 10 seconds.

When my dad and brother came out they glanced at me with anger in their eyes before diverting their gaze to the car we will be using to go to the airport before setting off to California, America.
"Hey Tate, what's happened to Buddy?" I question my brother about our dog. Buddy is ... Well was the best dog ever, I think even he has noticed things are off about me. But anyways he was always so excited to see me and was entranced by my eyes.

Oh that's what I forgot to tell you, I'm not your average 'bad girl' with a bad background. I know that sounds cliché  .... Ok maybe it is cliché and this whole book is just lying to you, but come on, you've got to admit we all love a cliché. But anyway, I genuinely don't go near a lot of people because I'm afraid of what they will say about me. I've never had a lot of friends but the friends I did have were pretty cool till it happened. But that's in the past, I'm moving on to the future but I still don't think I can let anyone in, not after last time.

He just mumbles a dunno and walks to the passenger side of the car and drops in.
"Great" I say under my breath while walking to the back of the car and dropping into it myself. I start to get comfortable when dad, or as I've recently been calling him 'sperm donor' starts the car.... What, he doesn't call me his daughter anymore, I needed a nick name for him. As soon as the car starts, the radio starts hyping up the car nearly bursting my eardrum. Through the pain of my eardrum bleeding out, I hear the catchy song of Lamborghini by KSI.

"La Lamborghini, la Lamborghini, b*tch I know you see me in my Lamborghini, la Lamborghini, la Lamborghini, ride so quick you would think I'm Houdini!"

Although the car is full of noise it feels as silent and uncomfortable as ever. Slowly rolling down the street and onto the motorway we make our way to the airport.

Not being ready for the long 2 hours ahead of us I turn my phone on, plug my earphones in and start listening to fireflies by owl city ... What it's the best song ever and to all you haters, you obviously haven't been visited by 10 million fireflies as you fell asleep.

*****

My eyes slowly fluttered open as we pull to a stop in the rental car in front of the massive airport overhead. As my eyes were adjusting I caught the sight of a tall sign saying 'North Gatwick terminal'.
"Ahh we're finally here" my dad sighed, immediately getting out of the car and over to where the van was supposed to be signed in to put all of our belongings on the plane.