Suddenly, without really knowing how he arrived there, Sherlock found himself below the most famous clock tower in the world. It was where he came to think sometimes, where other people didn't expect him to go, because they thought it was too dramatic even for him. He went inside and began the climb, up to the top of Big Ben.
As he climbed the stairs, Sherlock berated himself with angry comments. They swirled around in his head, yelling at him for letting any emotion cloud his judgement, for allowing himself to become infatuated with someone who could never love him back. Every time his thoughts came across the word "love" he would recoil and chastise himself, trying to convince himself that this was not love. He couldn't have let this happen, John was untouchable, and married nonetheless - with a baby on the way. Sherlock felt like screaming as he reached the top of the clock tower. How could he have been so stupid!?
Night was coming as Sherlock climbed outside of the safety of the building. He was high above London, looking over it, perched on the clock face. The cool night air whipped his hair about and froze his face, flushing his beautiful cheekbones perfectly pink. It was then when Sherlock let himself relax, he let him self realize, and he gave himself up. He was done fighting, he was done convincing himself that he wasn't in love, because he was, it was clear as day. But he hated himself for it, he absolutely loathed himself for falling in love with someone unattainable.
He looked out over London, and let out a small chuckle. He loved John, he really did, it felt freeing to finally realize what the feelings meant, it made him feel alive to know that he could love someone so deeply. It was also damning, he would be damned to suffer thousands of days without the right kind of touch from him, he would be forever condemned to watch as John built a family for himself and left Sherlock behind, he would be forced to face the fact that the only person he could ever love, would never love him back. Sherlock felt his eyes begin to burn again, and fought back tears.
Suddenly there was the irony clang of shoes on the metal steps.
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Human Emotions
FanfictionSherlock hasn't been himself lately, his mind is clouded and his deductions won't come, he doesn't understand it. All these strange emotions he's encountering revolve around John, it's always John. Little does Sherlock know, that these emotions are...
