Human Emotions

Chapter Five

    "Sherlock," John was almost directly behind Sherlock now, just a little to the left of him.
    Sherlock spun around, he looked John in the eyes, his perfect blue eyes. Sherlock suppressed a shudder, he wanted so badly just to take his short companion into his arms, but he resisted. He was a man of iron, he needed to put his shields back up and prepare himself for the rejection. He didn't want to tell John, he really really didn't want to tell him. It could ruin their whole relationship, but he had to, otherwise he would end up driving a wedge between them subconsciously, in an effort to protect himself. In an effort to destroy the feelings, he would just push John further away if he didn't tell him. It was easier for John Watson this way. It was easier for him to know the truth, John deserved the truth, he deserved so many things that Sherlock could never give him.
    "Sherlock please tell me," John said.     
      This would be the best chance that Sherlock could get, he had to tell him.
    "I do not believe in love or romance, as I have told you before. I am not the type of man who would indulge in such things, they cloud your judgement, impair your thinking, they make you care, they make you weak. Recently, however, I have begun to realize that they can also make you strong. I confess that when I first felt it, I did not have the slightest clue what it was. Until I felt love this powerful, I would have never believed it, I would have never believed that something so seemingly simple could be so multidimensional. I never imagined that anything could feel better than solving a complicated mystery, but I was wrong, this is a new high. This is better than anything, better by ten-fold. I would sacrifice everything I hold dear, just to be able to protect the one I love, to have a chance. I suppose, since I am indeed a man, that I am also susceptible to the same curses as he."
    John stood there with his mouth open, he looked like he was choking back tears but Sherlock couldn't understand why. John's blue eyes were wide as he let out a half-strangled question. "Who- who... Who is it, Sherlock?"
    Sherlock stared a John for a heartbeat, his bright eyes threatened to alight tears upon his cheeks and the light flush still remained across his face. "John, please don't let this change anything between us, I couldn't take it if you -" Sherlock swallowed, fighting a sob building in his throat.
     "John," he took a deep breath. "John, it's you, it's always been you." His voice broke on the final word and his knees felt weak. He was shaking now, with sobs that he would not unleash. "John, it's you, I'm in love with you."
    Then, there was silence.