How NOT to write a story

I wish I were exaggerating

I woke up. OMYGOSH it's the first day of school! im so excited to meet new people.

I showered with my body wash that smelled like lilac, vanilla, mint, chocolate, strawberry, coffee, apple, birthday candles, blueberry, dirt, pomegranate, dry erase marker, lemon, and vodka. It's my favourite scent because the smells just blend together so nicely.

After that, I got dressed. I like to choose my outfits based on the colours because of what the colours represent. Obviously I wore all black because black symbolizes emptiness, and I'm honestly just empty inside. To spice it up though, I wore red socks to symbolize how one day I'll walk in the blood of my enemies

Anyways, now I'm ready to go to school.

"Have a good day at school, daughter." Wow my parents don't even care about me.

I got to school and I walked into the first class. The teacher did attendance.

He called my name and I said 'here'.

The teacher finished attendance.

"Student! Why did you forget your books?!?!?!" The teacher screamed so loud that the windows cracked, but nobody came in to see what was the matter.

"I didn't bring my books because it's the first day of school and I didn't get them yet! So HAH! You're a terrible teacher AND yur a loser." I said in my sassy voice. The teacher cried.

"Wow classmate, that was so cool!" A really attractive football player said to me.

"W-w-w-wo-wow, t-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-t-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-t-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-tha-th-than-th-THANK y-y-y-y-"

"Wow learn how to talk, classmate. What a loser." He laughed with his friends that were all wearing a football uniform so they were obviously cool jocks and had no other interests besides sports.

The hot football boy looked back at me and said "wait I didn't notice that you were actually really pretty and do you want to be my girlfriend?"

I said "yes. Because I also find you attractive, and that's all that matters in a relationship nowadays. Let's go on a date."

We walked out of the school even though the first class had only just begun. He took me to a park.

"I wrote you a song because I love you so much."

He started singing anaconda.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun"

Wow that song is so deep like about how the guy is metaphorically a snake and how snakes probably don't like to eat buns or bread, but the 'snake' is willing to put up with a girls bread to be with her. He's literally so sweet.

"Hey girlfriend?" the hot football guy said with his green and blue and purple and yellow and orange and red orbs (but not brown because ew) looking at my boring galaxy coloured orbs.

"Yes hot football guy that is also my boyfriend?"

"I love you so much an I know we'll be together forever."

Me and the hot football guy dated for almost a whole week, and that's all that matters.