Baby, I Believe in You [Jordan Knight • NKOTB]

Chapter 22: California Dreaming

My brown eyes reflected the white cotton clouds passing through the sapphire sky from my bedroom window. It was now August and I was looking forward to spending my time at the warm beaches awaiting my return in sunny California. I was also excited to begin my second year at Berkeley in two weeks. I opened my mouth to release a soft breath and looked down at my desk where a single sheet of handwritten paper stared back at me. The letter was from Jordan, the first one I received since the final Foxboro concert back in July.

Dear Steph,

I hope you get this letter soon before you go back to California. The tour is going great so far and right now, the guys and I left Tallahassee and were on our way to St. Petersburg. Florida is hot as always, but at least our hotel is air conditioned as well as the Suncoast Dome stadium where we're going to perform that night.

Everyone wishes you were here with us, I still wish you could have stayed for the entire tour. It's a little lonely now that I have a room and a bed to myself, I miss having you with me, but school's important and I know you're going to do well this year. The guys wish you all the luck in California, too.

Now that it's August, I hope you're looking forward to your birthday, baby. You're finally going to be twenty and that's something to feel special about. I may not be able to see you, but I have something really special planned for you and I know it'll make it up for my absence.

I love you, Stephanie. I know it's hard that we're not together in the same place, but everything is going to work out and our love will be stronger after this tour ends and I hope it happens sooner, so I could hold you back in my arms and never let you go.

P.S. I'll be using your California address for now on and so will the guys since you'll be in Berkeley this year.

                                                                                Love,

Jordan

Reading his letter for the tenth time let the smile extend slightly on my lips, but at the same time I felt my heart aching. It was hard to remain strong during our time apart, I admit to even crying myself to sleep several nights but I couldn't let this heartbreak get the best of me. If Jordan can be strong, I can too.

I began to pull open the small drawer of my desk and took out a few sheets of stationery and a pen to write back to him using the special address he had included in the letter to deliver my letter to, knowing he wouldn't receive it on time if I used the addresses of the hotels he would staying this month.

As I contemplated the right words to write, I began to think about my birthday coming up in less than a week. I had no idea how I wanted to celebrate it, but hopefully some sort of mind blowing thought would come to my head later on. Then I started to think about Donnie, whose birthday was four days before mine. I needed to think about what I should send him for his birthday. I let myself ponder for a while as I began to look back at the last few days I spent here at home.

Both of my parents knew about Jordan and I being together, yet they didn't know that lost my virginity to him that night in Foxboro. I wasn't sure if I could even bare to tell them as they still saw me at their innocent little girl. Still, they probably hinted it as they knew Jordan and I shared a room every night on the road, but never said anything about it. With Jordan and I separated, they knew how troubles to keep a long distant relationship from crumbling and despite the possible outcome, both noticed how well I was taking it. My parents loved Jordan, to them, he was family and so are Donnie, Danny, Joe, and Jonathan. They had faith in the two of us.