Tell Me Why

Rape

I was carried downstairs and throw on the couch.I thought it was my mom but my dad had locked her in the closet.He was already drunk so I don't know what he would do this time.He touched my waist and pulled me on his lap.He starting rubbing my thighs,I tried to move away but he wouldn't let go.I had to find a way to get out here.He started to rub my stomach.I started to tear up.He started to take my bra off.Then I turned around and punched him in the nose.Then I grabbed the kitchen knife and stood in front of him.Then I thought Aj,everyone loved him."Look,your not going to do nothing with that",dad said.I ran towards him and stab him repeatedly. Then I cleaned up and put the knife in my knife pocket.I than ran upstairs and unlocked my mom from the closet. She hugged me and i hugged back.She grabbed the money from my dad's closet and told me to get in the car.I sat in the car when my mom came walked out .We drove to my grandmas house. She had to rooms she didn't use so we were going to stay for a while.I hugged my grandma and showed me to my room.I went to the bathroom and cut my wrist.I cleaned up and went to bed.I want to sleep and dreamt of Aj.I shot up gasping for air.Was that dream a sign.
~Dream world~
I was at school, laying on the bench.I turned my head and saw a bunch of girls all over Aj.I got grabbed a katana and stabbed the girls and slice there head off.I drop the katana and drag the bodies to the end of the roof. I drop every body and severed head in the dumbster below.Then I laughed and I couldn't stop.It was freaky.
~Reality~
Thinking about my dream,I walked downstairs.I grabbed a bag of chips and went back upstairs.I sat on my bed with my laptop. I didn't sit for a while.I went up to the bathroom and cut my wrist like I do everyday.It stung even worse and I let some tears fall.After I cleaned up, I went back downstairs to grab another back of chips.I sat back at my laptop.I searched up "Do dreams mean something".The only think that popped up is yes.So, I'm guessing that it telling me to kill.I killed before,it wasnt pretty.To be honest,I felt relived that my dad was gone.I sat in a dark room for a bit then walked outside.I grabbed my jacket and left the house.Then I saw Aj,he was walking with his friends.I was so happy to be in a neighborhood with Aj.I figured out that he lives across my grandmas house.When I walked down the street, I saw a knife that had a name tag. I picked it up and looked at it.I was for me someone named Ayona gave it to me.Who is she? I want to know more about her so,I asked my mom.she was shocked when I asked.I just didn't tell her about the knife.