Knox's Girl (Carmichael Series #1)✔️

Decisions

**Edited**

Poppy's POV

I chewed on my lip as I made my way through the rest of the zoo with Tansy's hand in mine, not uttering a single word unless it was to answer a question she had about one of the animals. Knox has been silently pouting ever since I scrambled off his lap and dragged Tansy away from the penguin exhibit. I could understand why he was upset as I had just rejected him, in a way.

My brain was preoccupied with doubt and uncertainty, but I was pulled from those deep thoughts when I felt Tansy lean all of her body weight against me – her telltale sign that she was exhausted – and release a big yawn. I giggled quietly at how cute she was before scooping her up in my arms and rubbing soothing circles into her back. I didn't have to tell Knox that we were leaving, he got the memo when he realized Tansy had, in fact, fallen fast asleep in my arms within seconds. We made our way through the exit and to his car, the quiet between the two of us remaining until all of us were properly buckled in.

"She looks so much like you used to; it's almost scary," he murmured quietly. A small smile graced my face at the thought as I peered back to her small frame in the rearview mirror, nodding in agreement. It wasn't the first time I've received that comment before, and I knew it wouldn't be the last either. People usually assumed I was her mother whenever we went out into public together just the two of us; that, however, I never understood. I didn't even look old enough to be Tansy's mom.

My stomach twisted with a foreign feeling as I watched Knox carry Tansy's sleeping form into my parents' house. He was holding her as if she were an expensive china doll that could break with even the slightest movement. The sight warmed my heart and only served to further muddle my feelings for him, more than they already were.

We didn't stick around long, only a few minutes to recap our entire outing to my mother before leaving. When Knox pulled back onto the main road from the neighborhood I assumed he was taking me back to my place. I crossed my arms over my chest and rested my head against the window, dazing off once again while thinking about where the heck my feelings for Knox resided.

Did I like him? Wait, no, that's not the important question I should be asking myself. What I needed to focus on was whether I could find it in myself to forgive him for the way he treated me the majority of my life. If I did end up forgiving him and pursuing a relationship - figuratively speaking of course - would he stay faithful to me? It wasn't exactly a secret that he was highly sought after practically anywhere he went.

I hadn't realized that we'd pulled up in front of Knox's house until he swung my door open and pulled me from my daze. I knew it wasn't a good idea to be with him alone until I had my feelings sorted out, but I wasn't in any mood to argue with him. He rested his large hand on the small of my back as we walked up to the front door. His body heat radiated around me from our close proximity and caused goosebumps to rise all over my body. Why couldn't my body react this way to normal men? Entering his place, I got the same sense of emptiness as I had the first time he brought me here. Yes, the place was nice, but I couldn't help but feel...cold. Like there was no life to the place at all. The only way I could truly describe the space was by comparing it to a show house rather than a home.

"Are you going to avoid answering my question forever, Flower?" Knox's deep voice rumbled through the relatively open space. His tone held a hint of annoyance at my lack of response.

"Knox," I spoke out on a sigh, "you can't just dump something like this on me after all this time and expect and answer immediately! I'm going to need time to process what you've told me and asked of me," I spoke.

"What is there to think about, Poppy? It's a simple yes or no question; yes, you'll be my mine or no, you won't. You're making this harder than it needs to be," he claimed. The matter-of-fact tone of his voice, accompanied with an eye roll, angered me to no end. I narrowed my eyes and placed my hands on my hips, completely fed up with his high-handed attitude and belittling.