Why Are You Crying? (Joshler)

7.4

*this one will be a long chapter*

"Are you okay, Bee?" Ryan asked. "No, I'm not." Brendon murmured. "What's wrong?" Ryan continued to ask. You could easily tell he was worried. "My anxiety." Brendon said quietly. "Do you have any medication for it?" Ryan asked. "No."

Ryan sat on the bed next to Brendon hugging him. I sat behind them trying to keep B calm. "Hey, it'll be alright." I comforted Brendon. He was shaking. He was crying. He was sweating. He could barely breathe. He sat with his head in his hands, Josh knelt on the floor trying to calm him down at least a bit. Nothing was working though.

We tried water. We tried pressure points. We tried speaking. Nothing worked.

"I can't fucking live like this anymore," Brendon managed to say between sobs. "It's too much." Ryan kissed him and said, "You can, I know you can. We'll sort this out, baby. I promise." Josh and I kept quiet; we didn't know how to help in this situation. I squeezed Josh's hand tighter as he looked over at me. "No, Ryan. I can't!" Brendon shouted. He stood up and walked over to the medicine cabinet. "Bee, stop! Babe, what are you doing?!" Ryan ran after him. Josh and I followed. "Put those fucking pills down!" I ran towards Brendon and grabbed the pills out of his hand. He snatched them back.

"Fuck off!" He yelled. He swallowed the pills, Ryan crying next to him on the floor. "Baby, no! No no no no, this can't be fucking happening!" Ryan was hysterical. Brendon seemed to be calming down. "It's over. I don't have to worry anymore." Brendon whispered. Ryan was still crying his eyes out, makeup dripping onto the floor. Josh was calling an ambulance. I was with Ryan trying to comfort him. Josh was freaking out a little. Ryan was hysterical, still. "It'll be alright, we'll get him to the hospital and he'll be alright. I promise you that, Ryan." I told him. "Thank you. I appreciate your help." He sobbed.

"The ambulance is here." Josh ran in. The paramedics questioned Ryan, asking him all sorts of questions. Brendon was  in the ambulance. I sat in the front seat, Ryan with Brendon in the back and Josh was behind me in the back seat. "I hope he's alright." Josh told me. "He will be, don't worry." I replied. He smiled a sad smile and I reached out the hold his hand. "Hey, it'll be alright babe." I reassured him. "I know, it's just... I'm sad he didn't tell us he was suicidal." "I am too but maybe it was the anxiety that brought it on." I said back to Josh.

We arrived at the hospital. Ryan couldn't go in with Brendon so Josh and I offered to stay with him. "I didn't know he was suicidal. I wish he told me, I would've helped him." Ryan sighed. "It'll be alright. He won't do it again, we can make sure of that." Josh reassured him. "I know. Thanks." I smiled at Josh and Ryan.

Then, a doctor came out with a grim look on his face. "Boys, I'm very sorry. It's too late. He took too many." Ryan broke down, so did Josh. I tried to stay strong to talk to the doctor. "Oh my god, Brendon. Can we see him one last time? Please?" I tried to say without crying. "Yes, you can go now if you wish." The doctor told me.

We walked into the room. There he was, lifeless. Josh and I were holding hands. Ryan had one hand over his mouth, tears streaming down his face. "Honey. Oh god, this can't be happening! I love you, babe." Ryan cried to the lifeless boy. "Brendon, you are an amazing person." I sobbed. "I never thought this would happen." Josh added.

Ryan was holding Brendon's cold, pale hand when there was a loud beep coming from a monitor. It was short. A doctor came running in, accompanied by nurses. "We've got a pulse! Bring the oxygen!" Shouted the doctor. Ryan steeped back "Oh god, Brendon!" He smiled. "Don't leave me, baby! Come on!" He sobbed. I hugged him and Josh hugged me. "We've got a breath, too, sir." One of the nurses said. "He's alright." The doctor said relieved. "Brendon, honey! I'm so glad you're okay." Ryan smiled, still sobbing. The doctor sent us out into the waiting room while they made sure everything was alright. About 15 minutes later, a nurse came out to get us. "He's awake." She smiled. Ryan stood up and ran into the room, closely followed by Josh and I.

"Ryry? Is that you, baby?" Brendon moaned. "Brendon! I'm so glad you're okay. I love you so much." He kissed Brendon. "Brendon, you were dead for a while. Oh god, I'm so happy you're alright!" Josh exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us you were having these thoughts?" I asked. "I didn't wanna worry you." Brendon replied. Ryan sighed. "I understand, baby. I forgive you." Ryan squeezed Brendon's hand. "Yeah. Let's just get you back to 100% and get you home." Josh said. "Sounds like a plan." I added.