okay.

Lies and Emotions

What if our feelings are all just lies? What if who we are is based on the lies told from us since we were all kids... Hypocrisy. That's what we all reek of. They said don't lie, it's wrong. But you tell me what they did, remind me of how they said lying is wrong, disobeying is wrong, rebellion is wrong. Now, tell me all they've done. Tell me all the lies they gladly told. Protection? Is that what they call it?

I was always told to be who I am... But I did things they didn't like, so I got in trouble for it. LIES. ALL OF IT. Name a single truth... Just one... Now tell me, are you able to? Can you think of a single they said that made them feel like they neednt be afraid of being called deceitful for saying. I'm afraid I wont ever be able to see the truth... Don't ask me why. Don't even ask them.

When anyone else does something, you automatically feel you can and should do the same. You see people telling lies all the time. So you start to do it, too... Who you are- a lie. You only ever are who you want to be.  You think you get to choose whether you're "real" of not? No. Just like you cant force yourself to keep from lying, you can't make yourself to "real" because it's the need to lie that causes you to be fake in the first place. It's sad, the life we all live... We all feel the need to do anything and everything possible to be happy... We see the people around us doing things that make them feel better, and you want to try it out yourself.

It's all these lies that have myself and so many others in an insane confusion towards who we truly are and what life truly is. Maybe we'll never find out, or maybe we will find out only to come up ourselves, but entirely drained from all the energy and time spent searching. I don't know where I stand or where I ever could, but I do know life is beautiful anyways. Life is a beautiful, painful ,tragic, experience filled with joy and uttermost pain. But personally, I wouldn't have it any other way...

I learned to accept what was given to me wholeheartedly and with gratefulness, no matter what it is I receive. If you look for the beauty in that gift, you will realize it's there. Satisfied and excited to be found. Maybe there isn't so much hopelessness as we all thought.

You can't go around looking to pick a fight with all the bad in the world.