Fire Angels

Chapter 16 part 3 Betrayer, Betrayer, What have you done?

All day people knocked on the door of my room, but I lay in bed with the clothes drawn up to my chin and ignored them. I wanted to be able to cry, to weep out my horror and pain, but all I could do was stare at the floor. You are mine. You will always be mine. Those words felt like a death sentence, a death sentence that would last life long. I thought of Shad too of how he had said I love you. He would have learnt his mistake by now though. He would get over it soon, if disgust had not already driven it out of him.

Slowly it became dark and it was darkness that brought me out of my stupor. I remembered the first time the demon had spoken to me. I was in a dark room. I had heard breathing coming from within in the mirror.

There were no mirrors here. Strange I had not seen a mirror in the moonlit bedroom last night either. Silva knew I did not like them. But then I had not really looked. I was a fool. Desire had made me careless and now I was paying the just price for it. I would always pay.

There was another knock on the door and this time I got up and answered it. It was a maidservant accompanied by a page.

The page bowed and told me that Lady Blanche's negotiator from the South had arrived and that there was a reception to be held in his honor. I was bidden to attend. For a moment I was tempted to make an excuse about illness.

But no. I needed to get out of my room, to be among people, to do something that would make me forget the demon. You will always be mine, he had said.

I nodded to the page and said I would be there.

Tomas pounced on me as I came into the reception room.

"Where have you been? Silva told me everything. What..."

His tone made my hackles rise. There was nothing he could do to help so I was damned if I was going to put up with his scolding. No doubt he would be self-righteous about what had happened with Shad too.

"Leave me alone Tomas. It's none of you business."

"None of my business? I like that. Now you tell me..."

"Oh Tomas you are such a grump," said Lucien, gliding up beside us. "Did no one ever tell you that a lady doesn't like scolding? A lady likes kindness. She likes a man to take care of her." He drew my arm through his. "And bring her good things to eat and drink." He snapped his fingers and a footman came over with a platter of sweetmeats and another with a tray of sparkling wine.

"Here now, eat something. You must be famished."

Though I could not really feel interested in them, I ate some of the sweetmeats. Tomas stood, thankfully silent, and watched us with his arms crossed and an irritable expression on his face.

Fortunately, there was no time for speaking with Tomas. For some reason the Duke wanted me to stand on the dais with a number of the other mages when Lady Blanche's negotiator came in. The two men had already met earlier that day, but this was the formal reception and required a showing of strength.

Trumpets blasted to announce the negotiators arrival. A procession of priests and other dignitaries came slowly up the room towards us. They were no more than colored chess pieces before my eyes. The real drama was happening inside my head. I love you, said Shad again in my memory. You are mine, said Bedazzer with the howl of a jealous demon.

I shook my head and tried to focus on the procession at hand. There was a whole row of young priests carrying great mirrors painted with the faces of saints. The candle light sparkled in those mirrors and faces were reflected among the painted saints in a hectic confusing way. I hoped nothing horrible would appear now to shame me before everyone.

You are mine, yowled Bedazzer in my head.

The line of young priests peeled away to either side. Behind them I caught a glimpse of Lady Blanche Shomnee.

You are mine, yowled Bedazzer in my memory.

Beside Lady Blanche walked a priest mage. I knew him. Curling chestnut hair. Blue eyes in an angel's face. I knew him. Bedazzer was forgotten as I searched my memory for the face.

And found suddenly and horribly a memory of that face, looking back over its shoulder, laughing with cruel laughter while the spiked club came down and bones shattered. I was in Tasha's mind again or hers was in me. Her tortures overwhelmed my sight. Her terrible pain gripped me. Somewhere I heard someone screaming in the distance.

"Betrayer, Betrayer, what have you done!"