Yey, I finally started this thingy. This is more of an introduction to Takizawa's personality and life rather than a like official start of the story. Next chapter develops plot more, I promise fam. By the way, if stuff is unclear, it will be clarified later. I don't even know where this is going so just get on my cray cray party train and hopefully, you enjoy the weird ass ride. Thanks for readin yall. ( POV = Point Of View) EMO SEIDOU FTW
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow everything had gone completely wrong. That perfect future I vividly dreamed and continuously thought out, the flawless relationship that harbored blossoming love, that enthusiastic young man who was to sit at the top and reign. "It all perished," I repeatedly lie to myself, along with this society. Rooted in the depths of my core, I question that statement, all the while knowing I never had these elements to begin with.
Many nights subsided into ones like this. The brisk Tokyo air lacking any sympathy for those it smuggled. Those long hours living out of a car. The penetration of feeling useless. How I wished someone would obliterate the salty tears that trace my cheek bones. Still, no one ever came, and those tears subsided into each fiber of my existence. A constant reminder of each facade I construct each day. The cruel sound of my own sniffles tortured my ears with each resonating cry.
As always, I rested my forehead on the frigid steering wheel while I concealed my big brown eyes with the smooth palms of my hands. The vacant darkness my hands provided was more satisfying than anything. I wished to forget my own dreaded reflection and live as an empty distortion. Society shouldn't know that I'm that unstable lad that weeps in a car, with diminutive self-esteem. I allowed them to see a cute, hard-working man with those big brown eyes. Still, no one would ever understand the daily struggle.
That sincere happiness which had engulfed me whenever I achieved something, whether it was getting a promotion or acing a test- was further drowned by things like that these days. Only now do I notice, that no one is left to care about what I do. My lover is a drug-addict and alcoholic cheater who takes every cent I have. Who hits me and rarely lets me into my own apartment. My mother is preoccupied with her boyfriend, acting as if his children were her own, almost completely forgetting about my sister and I. My sister as well- is consumed by romance and drama, just as a normal young woman would be. I'm then forced to burden the constant questioning if those once-so-precious people ever had space in their lives for me.
Eventually, I acquired some self-awareness and noticed my navy tuxedo lazily flung onto the passenger seat- a grim reminder that I would once again be forced to interact with new people. My stomach twisted just at the thought of more lingering eyes judging me. My sobs intensified as I imagined my first day working in the 20th ward as a Ghoul Investigator.
Unconsciously my hands fiddled over to the glove compartment to end up rummaging through the endless sea of papers and other useless items until they seized a chocolate bar. Binging had become a bad habit, perhaps because my body knows how small it is. At this point, I'm addicted to it, as if it was a drug. I love the smell of it, the texture, the taste, just every little part of chocolate is savory and amazing. I overspend on it nearly every week, whether it's actual chocolate or chocolate smelling cologne.
Still, depression was really all I have left. Faded scars littered my wrists as empty pill bottles were a common sight. Some of it I recovered from, yet, part of it still lingered deep inside the depths of my soul.
As the night continued on, I continued to question myself as a person. Asami- my 'girlfriend' was inevitably killing me on the inside. I'm trapped in her layers of hell, gradually becoming transparent and fading. Drinking to take all the pain away. Clubbing until I nearly danced and drank myself to death. Still, as I looked in the mirror, I saw the same simple person that was always staring back at me: Seidou Takizawa.
YOU ARE READING
One-Eyed Dove
FanfictionSeidou Takizawa was a young ghoul investigator, who had recently been assigned and moved to the twentieth ward, bringing with him his girlfriend, and hope to start a life. Those hopes are dashed, shattered and left to die as Seidou's life turns to h...
