I am Keziah

Gone Girl

My doctors gaze falls to my scratch post like wrists

He asks with his pen and pad at hand

'why are you depressed Toneka?'

I draw out a word from thin air

And i say family

he says what happened to your family?

then i say i don't know.

Silence fills the room before his pen starts to scratch the paper with lies

Then I ask what is my purpose?

he says it is whatever you want it to be.

and i say but i don't know.

The three words i love and hate are 'i love you'

my only certified source of love is from above

because people grow,

grow out of love,

grow into hate

then they are gone and too grown to say

'i love you'

but is it okay to love him whilst he loves her, the girl who smells like soothing lavender. 

her laugh like charms in the spring breeze.

this part of love is piercing

when you have love to give

but your not in it with anyone

i remember how school finished exactly at 3:30pm

I'd wait for my loved one to come and get me,

the noisy school would soon becomes quite

the sun would begins to slip slowing behind the trees,

As if he didn't want to leave me

But The bright spring day would eventually become dark

as i wait. .

my stomach would rumble.

Sir, this is love, this is how it feels to love.

It only leaves you with a unnecessary hunger for companionship

I say as his blue eyes deepen and his pen stops.

And I continue

so I willingly grow, sir

grow out of love.

when I'm fully grown sir,

I will go through that door.

I am going to be gone. 

Gone.

By Keziah Toneka Moore