unaccepted || wroetostar {coming soon}

deux

vik

sometimes were harder than others, to say the least. it frequently became the middle of the night, more early in the morning, when vik had the thoughts that he couldn't go. after he had edited and rendered his last video, when he was finally able to turn off the lights and his monitor and lay in his bed for hours on end; awaiting the sleep that never came. he'd had therapy for it, but it just didn't work. there were always too many thoughts running through his mind to be able to sleep. to be able to find the roots of vik's problems. oh, and let's not forget the main reason that vik would never explain himself to his therapist... he just didn't want to disappoint his parents. who does? he wanted to make them proud and he already failed them when he informed them that he didn't want to be a doctor or politician or accountant. that he wanted to pursue a life of playing video games for a living. of course, they didn't immediately accept his choice but they saw that he was happy and that it wasn't really a dead end career, they accepted it. poor vik could barely deal with it himself, his mind in a constant battle royale with itself.

sighing to himself, vik grabbed his phone that sat on the pillow next to his head, shuffling closer to the wall so that he didn't have to unplug the electronic from charger. checking the time, halve five in the morning, then clicking onto the youtube app and scrolling through his subscriptions to find a good video to watch. seeing that harry had posted a video, the dark eyed boy hesitating before clicking onto it. fruit ninja keep up challenge. vik really did question the boys sanity sometimes.

throughout watching the video, vik couldn't find a tremendous amount of energy to laugh at the wild video, but continuously found a smile on his face at the boy staring in the small production.

hearing a small bang from the floor down, a feeling of paranoia settled into vik. hesitantly sitting up as the noise repeated once again, the - so far - sleepless boy stepped out from his luxurious; compared to the air chill of the air in the still room; he moved out of his room. silenty praising the fact the halls were carpeted, yet regretting the cold, light wooden floor, vik moved sluggishly down the stairs. once again, the bang sounded, but vik managed to make it out as coming from the door. he could hear light sniffling from beyond the thick surface, yet unsure whether the person was crying or simply suffering from the cold weather that lurked across all of london at the current time of the year, january fourth. attempting to see who the person was, vik leaned closer to the patterned window that served as a shaky mask.

"vik? can you let me in please?" it was harry. why was harry here at, almost, six in the morning. quickly grabbing the chain of keys from the hallway table and fumbling to find the correct one for the front door, reasons being the darkness of the early morning and vik's still, considerably, halve awake mind and body. finally finding success in using the correct key in the silver metal lock. harry quickly stumbled inside, a thin layer of white against his thin jacket was the only thing that made vik realising it was snowing in the gently brightening sky.

"what are you doing?" vik shut the door, following harry into the kitchen, the light being turned on causing both of the boys pupils to shrink at the sudden amount of large - and bright - light. the stains down harry's cheeks were noticeable, and vik would be lying if he said he didn't notice. "are you okay?" vik's voice returned to it's typical timidness, only hearable if standing in a relatively small distance or the room is in silence.

"n-" harry took a shaky breath as his hand was - unintentionally - careless when pouring the hot boiled water into the mix with the tea bag. "no." placing the kettle back down and grabbing the carton of milk from the fridge, unscrewing the green lid of the milk - that simon demands they buy because it's the only one he likes the taste of. josh argues there's no difference, but simon is rather stubborn therefore sticks by what he says. pouring a small amount and mixing the two liquids, the grains of tea evaporating into the scolding mixture.

"harry," vik's voice was gentle as he walked closer to the, clearly, fragile boy and placed a soft hand on his shoulder, that vik would soon scold himself for as the layer of snow that had settled onto the black surface had melted and now rested on vik's hand. "what happened?"

"she broke up with me, vik." trying to hold back his sobs as his knees wobbled, vik slowly escorting the boy to sit on the kitchen stool so he wouldn't collapse. "what did i do wrong? is there something wrong with me? i- i just don't understand, vikky." harry was quivering as vik's heart rate increased at the use of the nickname. vik told himself it wasn't harry saying it that caused him to get a sudden rush, just the nickname in general.

"harry, you're freezing, c'mon." vik wasn't sure if harry would fit into his clothes, though there wasn't that much height difference, plus vik wore slightly larger clothes anyway due to the comfort he found in them. more like a hiding place for all of him. some people didn't understand.

taking harry's hand in his own, and grabbing the mug of tea, vik guided the grieving boy back up the cold stairs. back into his room, vik placed the mug on his desk and left harry's hand to grab a pair of sweatpants and a - slightly - oversized jumper for him to wear. "here, i'll wait outside, yeah?" harry gave a gentle nod, a lost glint sailing in his blue eyes. vik gave a reassuring smile as he exited his room and waited a few minutes.

poor harry. realistically, all the boys had the idea that harry and belle weren't going to last - she wasn't right for him. she was too needy and, unadmittedly, had been one of the reasons that harry a, didn't see the sidemen as much and b, didn't upload as frequent. harry's viewers had been aware that he was in a relationship, but it was never harry's intention to let word float around, so people never found out the identity of harry's - now ex - girlfriend. maybe if she was 'announced' to the viewers the relationship would have ended soon, with less pain on harry's end, or last longer. but that was an if.

vik's attention turned back to his bedroom door as it was opened, harry suited in vik's clothes which weren't too small but weren't exactly the correct size either. the rested right but depending on the position he was in, the sleeves and legs of the articles of clothing would roll up slightly. vik followed harry back into the room, the mug held in harry's shaky hand as the two sat beside each other. "do you want to talk about it?" vik felt an itch to simply wrap his arms around harry and hold him there until someone physically forced him to move. he'd never seen harry like this before and it broke his heart.

harry shrugged in response to vik's question, feeling lost to what he wanted. vik resisted a sigh, he had been conflicting himself the whole night and harry's heartbreak sticking to the large mush of vik's thoughts. and to make matters worse, vik had always hated to see friends in pain. it always made him stress. harry glanced down at his cup of tea, vik carefully watching his movements. taking a careful sip before quickly pulling away, a scowl on his face. "it's cold," he mumbled, lazily holding the unwanted mug.

"here," vik took it from his hands, placing it onto his desk then sitting back down, slightly closer to harry than he previously was. "do you wanna go to bed?" vik's voice was barely above a whisper. he wasn't sure how harry would feel sleeping in the same bed, but unless one of them took the couch, they'd have to deal with it. harry solemnly nodded, both of the boys finding themselves under vik's thin duvet in a matter of minutes. "night, harry."

"night vik." and for the first time in years, vik fell to sleep with ease, harry softly snoring beside him.