Alex called Scott back to his office, officially starting the session.
"Alright, Scott, this next hour might be a lot, but I think it will be beneficial. We will be in the workroom today."
They entered the room and Scott saw the remains of his list rewritten on the white board
along with Alex's notes
1. Judgment Changing others perceptions
2. Being labeled as something I am not How to correct, Changing others perceptions
3. Forced coming out How to prevent
4. Not coming out on my own How to prevent
5. People not understanding I'm not "gay", but that I don't label my sexuality/attractions Changing others perceptions, Tools to explain
6. People hating me How to correct, Changing others perceptions
7. Family and friends will hate me for my choices Won't happen
I'm on your side
"Scott, I need an honest answer here. Do you not label yourself because you don't want to, or because you don't know what label to use? Either one is fine, but I the answer will help me help you. Also, does your gender come into play?"
Scott looked nervous as he answered, "I don't know. I never really thought of it like that."
"I printed a list of different sexualities and genders. Why don't you look through them? Cross out the ones you think do not pertain to you. I do not need to see the list of it will make you more comfortable. When you are done, you can either accept one of the labels, or continue to not use any. I just thought it might help you organize your thoughts."
Scott agreed and took the paper from Alex's hand and read through it. As he read he crossed things out and wrote some notes. Once he was done, he handed the paper to Alex.
"Scott, I don't have to read this if you don't want me to. I just want to know if you chose a label, or want to remained unlabeled."
"I want you to read it."
(A/N the following terms and descriptions are taken from and it not the whole list, just what pertains to Scott. I DO NOT CLAIM TO KNOW SCOTTS SEXUALLITY OR GENDER. THIS IS SIMPLY FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY, AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN AS TRUTH.)
Cisgender: A person whose gender identity is aligned to what they were designated at birth, based on their physical sex; 2) A non-trans* person.
Closeted (In the Closet): Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, queer, trans* person, or intersex person who does not or can not disclose their identity or identities to others.
Femme: A person who expresses and/or identifies with femininity; 2) A community label for people who identify with femininity specifically through a queer and/or politically radical and/or subversive context; 3) A feminine-identified person of any gender/sex.
Male-Bodied: A term used to recognize a person who was designated or assigned male sex at birth; 2) A person who identifies themselves as having had or currently having a male body.
Pansexual: A sexual orientation where a person desires sexual partners based on personalized attraction to specific physical traits, bodies, identities, and/or personality features which may or may not be aligned to the gender and sex binary; 2) A sexual orientation signifying a person who has potential emotional, physical, and/or sexual attraction to any sex, gender identity or gender expression; 3) Sexual orientation associated with desiring/loving a person's personality primarily, and specific bodily features secondarily.
Queer: An umbrella term representative of the vast matrix of identities outside of the gender normative and heterosexual or monogamous majority. Reclaimed after a history of pejorative use, starting in the 1980s; 2) An umbrella term denoting a lack of normalcy in terms of one's sexuality, gender, or political ideologies in direct relation to sex, sexuality, and gender.
Questioning: A person is in the process of questioning or analyzing their sexual orientation, gender identity, or gender expression.
Single Gender: Descriptive of a person whose gender consists of one identity, usually either male or female.
Alex read the note that Scott scribbled on the bottom of the page.
"I am a feminine male who is cisgender. I am in the closest because I am afraid of judgment and prejudice. I believe I am pansexual, but would like to be considered "queer" by others who I have come out to because I am still questioning my sexuality."
"Scott," Alex whispered as he finished reading, "this is a big step. How are you feeling?"
A tear rolled down Scott's cheek. "Free." He whispered.
Alex embraces him as Scott cried onto his shoulder.
"Scott, we can stop for today. This is a lot."
They pulled apart and Scott reached for a tissue.
"Thank you, Alex. I want to keep going."
They sat down on the bean bag chairs, facing the board. They discussed ways to talk to others about sexuality without Scott having to come out or reveal his sexuality.
"Ten minutes left." Alex stated.
Scott knew what that meant. "Can I take the papers with me? It might be helpful to read it over."
"Absolutely. Our sessions are very productive. I want to propose something, Scott. Now, a week from today, I want to bring in a few different medical professionals to see where you are. That gives us Monday to prepare. Thoughts?"
"That sounds terrifying."
"I'll be here with you; it will happen right in the workroom."
"Let's do it."
They collected their papers and walked to the front desk. Alex spoke to the receptionist.
"Hey, Martha. Can you go ahead and confirm for next Thursday?"
"Of coarse, Dear."
The plans were set, and Scott was horrified.
YOU ARE READING
The Need to Speak
FanfictionScolex A. U Scott had a traumatic experience. He goes to a Speech Therapist to help with his newly developed selective mutism. His SLP, Alex, is ready to help.
