Trying to figure out how to start this in the most non-cliche way, I got nothing.
There are so many things I have to say, so many stories, so many topics. I'm having the hardest time finding a theme to be able to start this off with. It's proving to be a lot more difficult than I thought. Though, it is not like I've spent days trying to figure it out. It has been approximately 45 minutes. That is including the drive home from buying this new journal. I've always wanted to write, and tell my stories. My thoughts have never gotten further than 2 or 3 pages. Maybe spending 45 dollars on a new notebook will be motivation enough to keep writing.
Telling my friends stories, and almost bragging about my psychotic adventures have always been a hobby of mine. Every time I let my mouth expose another chapter of my life, I almost feel compelled to show proof to the audience. To show that what I'm saying is not a lie, or exaggeration. I've never felt shame, or embarrassment of my encounters. I almost am proud of them, if I'm being honest.
They may not amount to much to some, but for me, they're my pride and joy. I think because compared to all of my friends, they are greatly insane and dangerous. To others they may be a walk in the park, ya know, if you're a constant thrill seeker, and trouble maker. To my innocent friends, who's stories consist of 'ding-dong-ditching', my life has been a little more eventful.
I don't know, sometimes I really want more for myself, others days, I ponder the life of strictly being about drugs and sex becoming and taking over my life. Maybe I don't think I can ever achieve anything else. Maybe it's just the thrill, maybe I have just become so accustomed to thinking that is all life is about. Easy money, easy 'friends', an easy death. Just, easy. Which sounds so pleasing. I'm scared of working hard to get to bigger things, and then failing.
Now I'm just rambling, this isn't what I want this to be about. These chapters aren't life changing, they aren't about me evolving into an amazing person who realizes they are headed for hell. They're just what they are. Life. Enjoy ♡
