Girls Like Girls

For Olivia

TO OLIVIA, THE GREATEST FRIEND I CAN EVER ASK FOR.

Dear Olivia,

On the day I told you I was gay, I expected this chain of reaction:

You would first stare at me, then you would give out a laugh that say, "Are you kidding me?". Once you realise that I'm not kidding, you would slowly back away, and when you think you aren't in my sight, you would run as far as you can away from me. I expected you to be scared of me. Both of our families were Christians, so... yeah. Your parents didn't really favour the LGBT. And as their daughter, I thought you did so, too.

Same old bullshit.

But you didn't run away, or did you give me a devastated look. All you did was smile, gave me a pat on the head, and said that you already knew. A very long time ago.

It then turned out to be me being scared.

How the heck did you know I was a homosexual? When did you even know? Did you hear it from someone? If so, who? Why didn't you leave me when you knew about it? Not that I wanted you to leave me, but for all my previous friends - all of them - once they knew I was homo they would just cut off ties with me immediately.

So when you said that you already knew, I was stunned.

"What... How... How the heck is that possible..." I had stammered.

You laughed, throwing your head back. "Evelyn, I'm your best friend. I can write a thousand-paged book about you and your deepest secrets!" And as if you could read my mind, you assured me, "don't worry, I won't leave you."

But I couldn't not worry. You have no idea how scared I was. Really. Friends can be strangers as fast as strangers can be friends. The very thought of you leaving me terrified me to death; if I do lose you, I would lose everything. You were my best - and probably only - friend for 6 years of my life. I wasn't ready to give up those happy memories we made. I want you in my life, because I'm pretty sure I can never find someone else like you, who bickers with me for literally every single day, yet make it up. Find another person who has the same laugh as yours. Find another person who steals my food continuously until I have to spend my money on buying them again. Find another person who is there when I need help and comfort. Even Kaylee couldn't take over you, because you're you.

Soon, however, my fear of you leaving me subsided. You really didn't leave. Instead you stuck with me through thick and thin. Like the day when almost the whole school knew I was a lesbian, you didn't turn your back towards me, embarrassed to have a lesbiam friend. Instead, you stood up straight, head held high, and told all those haters of mine to go away, minding their own business. You didn't even blink when you accepted on going on a date with me. You didn't even bother when those haters of mine started mocking you of maybe being gay because of me.

You have no idea how happy I was.

On the other hand though, I was also guilty. Guilty that you had to undergo bullying because of me. Sometimes when people jeered at you when they see you with me, my heart would fly when you shoo them away, but also sink because you did that for me. For your best friend. Just because I'm gay.

Yet you didn't bother. And soon, I grew worried. I'm your best friend, too, remember? I know all your biggest secrets and I can tell from when you're having your period to when you're just being a big bitch because you're bored.

I remember one night when we were having a sleepover very clearly. We had been chatting about your latest crush, Jean Hampton (Bookworm Cutie, hahahah remember him?), when your phone rang.

You picked it up, and immediately, the bright smile on your face made a hundred and eighty degree turn and you hung up.

"'Sup?" I had asked with my mouth full of marshmallows.

"Nothing," you replied curtly, and I knew something was wrong.

"Was it someone we knew?" I asked quietly. It had been a about three weeks after the whole year knew about my sexuality, and during those three weeks we got tons of hate. From glares from students to notes stuck on our lockers.

"No," you snapped. Then, "I'm going to bed."

I looked at you, surprised. You were never the type to sleep early on a sleepover. Instead you would talk and talk and talk all the way to two in the morning.

I knew what happened. This happened all the time - you were pissed. Whenever you got really angry, you would stop all activities at once and go to sleep, be it morning, afternoon, or night. And at that time, the thing that ticked you off the most was the bullying I got for my sexuality.

"No, Olivia," I said as I stood up. "It was Cameron, wasn't it?" If you remember him, Cameron was the hockey professional, and also one of the full-time bullies who made fun of me.

For one millisecond, you stiffened - but I noticed it. Then you snapped, "No."

"No, Via, there's this thing I wanna talk about and-"

"Would you shut up?! Geez, Eve, you're being annoying!"

"I'm being annoying? It's you who doesn't want to tell me what's wrong!"

"Because I don't want to! You can't! I... I..."

And you burst into tears at that moment. I was so confused. I didn't like seeing you cry, and I didn't know what was going on. Soon, I knew what was bothering you. You were tired of all those hate I was getting, and, being the only person who stood up for me, you too, had gotten hate. Maybe you couldn't take it anymore, all this hate we got.

You talked about your opinion on the LGBT. How you think that the hate that they're getting is completely unfair, that people from the LGBT community are also human, too.

It was then my turn to cry. I have never felt so touched before. And in your room, I felt as if I was the luckiest person the the entire world to have a friend who understood me.

We went to bed early that night, not wishing each other good night. Yet in the morning, I knew - and I'm pretty sure you noticed, too - that there was something in the air. Something's changed.

We understood each other more than ever.

Our friendship became better after that night. And even after I found Kaylee, we were still in touch. We continued to laugh together, and I was over the moon when you and Kaylee got along together.

You could have left me when you knew I was gay, yet you stayed. Through everything.

And I'm very grateful for that, Olivia Woods. Very, very, very, grateful.

Remember to stay awesome,
Evelyn

P.S. As you should know, Kay and I are getting married about next year. Where do you think we should hold our wedding at? Would love to hear from you soon! Stay awesome, bae! 😘