The Light of my life

Mine

So tell me, where

shall I go ?

To the left, where

nothing's right ? Or

to the right, where

nothing's left ?

Dimitri's POV

Why am I so stupid? Asking her that question like she would tell me. I have no right. I left her but I want to know, no I need to know. It couldn't have been long after I left since the baby is here and I have been gone for about nine months. Someone has to know who the father is.

Mama and I are in the kitchen making dinner for the whole household. After an internal debate, my curiosity takes hold of me and I can't help myself to ask.

"Mama?"

"Mmm."

I hesitate. Should I really be asking her? "Does Rose ever talk about Danila's father?"

She stops chopping carrots and looks at me with a furrowed brow. "Danila?"

I chuckle a little "The baby, his name is Danila. She..we just decided on his name."

"Danila, that's nice. I like it."

I nod and try asking her again, "Mama, his father?"

She puts the knife down and sighs, shaking her head."The poor girl. Your sister asked her about it once a few months ago, the only thing Rosemarie ever said was that he wasn't in the picture."

"No Name?"

"No. But I know she loved him..."

What? No!

"...and then he left. He doesn't know about the baby and maybe that's for the best. That is all I know." Mama crosses her arms and turns to me. "Why are you asking Dimitri?"

No words come out of my mouth, my mind is spinning too fast to comprehend answering. It couldn't be. It's not possible. There is no way Danila could be... mine. I drop the knife I'm holding and running my hands through my hair, whisper under my breath. "He can't be."

Mama is looking at me with a worried expression and puts a hand on my shoulder. "What did you say? Dimitri, what's wrong?"

"It's not possible. It can't be."

"Dimitri Belikov, will you look at me when I'm talking to you? What's wrong?"

Mama hasn't raised her voice at me since I was ten when I punched a Moroi kid who called her a blood whore. My mother was furious and grounded me for a week, telling me that just because I could beat up someone twice my size and age, did not mean I should.

I turn to my mother but no words come out. I need air. Walking out of the kitchen and through the front door, I hear my mother calling after me but I keep walking. I start walking faster and faster until I get to the point where I am running through the front gate. I probably caught the eyes of the some of the guardians on shift but I don't care. I need to get away. I need to think this all through. I run and I run until my lungs start to burn.

I must have been running for almost an hour because Mama is just putting the finishing touches on our meal. Not wanting an interrogation from Mama, I don't take my time to run upstairs and shower. When I get back downstairs the table has been set and everyone is taking their seats. Abe is back and is seated at the head of the table. There's a murderous glint to his eyes as soon as he sees me walk in. His elbows are on the table and his fingers are laced under his chin. I don't like the look of this. Rose is sitting beside her father holding Danila and talking to Vika. Babushka and Mama bring in the food and setting it on the table, take an empty seat. My mother sees me walk in and, to say the least, she isn't very happy with me. Rose hasn't looked at me since I walked in. It's making me uneasy but at the same time I'm okay with it. I don't know if I could look at her without demanding, 'IS HE MINE?!'.