note 11

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But you don't see the hours I spend up staring at the dim lit ceiling when my heart won't quit beating.

I pray for it to stop.

and my bones are brittle 

i pray for them to break me

and i'm disoriented more often than i'd like 

my heart has a tendency to fuck me up and i 

am so scared of what's to come.

I'm not ready to face whatever is on the other side, but I'm willing to take a risk.

I pray for you to stop me.


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