Masqueraded Identities

Chapter Seven

The weekend came around again. I already had a test coming up, and I was stressed out of my mind. It was in geography, which shouldn't be a big deal, but when it comes to my lack of understanding of what the hell spatial is, it was a very big deal. I had decided I'd spend all day in the library with my iPod and my notes, just to make sure I didn't get distracted.

I headed out at about noon, right after lunch, and within thirty minutes, I already wanted to shoot myself in the head. I hated AP Human Geography with a passion that no one would ever be able to fathom because it was so immense.

I put my head down on my book, and checked my phone. Twelve thirty. How I hated my life at that moment.

Of course, I hated it even more when Ryan Hutchins sat across from me. I turned my gaze in acknowledgement to him and continued blankly staring at the table.

"Is this how you always study?" he asked jokingly, gesturing to my position.

"No," I muttered miserably. First I had to study this awful subject, and now I had to deal with Ryan. He probably had unscrewed my chair leg or something, and was just waiting for it to break. Then he'd make one of his dumb little sarcastic comments, as usual. However, I was incredibly grateful he seemed to be ignoring what happened at dinner last night, or at least wasn't bringing it up immediately. I hadn't seen him since the payback incident nor had I tried messaging him an apology and vice versa. After some thought, I realized I was rather rude to him, as good as it felt. My regrets still didn't change the fact my chair would probably break any second.

"How's it working out for you?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I never really study. I more look at some notes and then get distracted. I think I have this rare form of ADD that only appears when I try to do homework. I've studied for about two tests in my whole school career."

"And you still manage to get good grades?"

"Surprisingly. For whatever reason, I understand it the first time and do well on the test or I just fail that unit. Studying doesn't help me unless it's memorizing vocab words or something."

"Well, whatever helps you."

I sat up and huffed. "I'm not sure why I'm even trying. I'm going to fail, anyway!"

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "With that attitude you most definitely will."

"Because you know so much about having the right attitude." I felt my eyes widen. That wasn't supposed to come out.

Ryan shrugged, looking a little guilty after that comment. "I had a friend who uh, graduated last year. He won a scholarship, too. He studied all the time. Even though there were some tests he failed and some bad grades, he did tell me that he didn't regret it. He said it was one of the only times that he felt proud of himself, being able to say that he managed to stay in Princeton Academy on a scholarship. So, in case you haven't figured it out, the moral of the story is to study, anyway. In the end, it'll be worth it. Keep your head up."

I bit my lip. As much as I hated to admit it, he did have a point. The feeling of accomplishment of managing to stay in Princeton Academy would be worth the studying, even if my grades may not always be A's. I sighed and grabbed my flashcards out of my backpack.

"Hey, want to study with me?" I asked.

I immediately questioned if that was a good idea, but I couldn't just ignore the look of loneliness in Ryan's eyes. Even though he acted like he was the top dog, every now and then I saw these flickers of some hidden sadness. This was one of those times.