When I finally got back to my family's apartment, I locked the door behind me. No one was awake to greet me. Upstairs in my room I dropped my bag on the floor and all the negativity fell off my body, dissolving into the earth below the building I called home. I felt a weight being lifted off me. No eyes would see me now.
I lay on my back, looking up at the popcorn ceiling above that gave me my own version of a starry sky. What constellations would I see tonight? What was my destiny?
The idea of popcorn reminded me of the last time Connor and I went to the movies together. I closed my eyes and thought of him. He put up with all of my shit, and I put up with all of his. We were each other's support system, taking turns between who was allowed to fall apart on any given day. He fell apart quite a bit more than I did, but all those days of me comforting him were worth it for the days when I gave myself permission to fall into his comforting arms.
It didn't take my mother thirty seconds to knock on my door.
"Hey, sweetie, how was Connor tonight? Did you two have fun?" She said. My mom pretended to care about Connor's family dinner, but she really wanted to know if Connor's parents made sure we didn't get too close.
"Yeah mommy, it was fun. His parents asked about you," I told her.
"Why would they ask about me?" She looked irritated. She didn't care for Connor; not because he was white, but because she thought Connor was going to break my heart.
"I don't know. Just to be nice, I guess," I responded.
"Well, tell them I asked about them too," she said, starting to close the door, but before it was all the way closed she came back in.
"Are you going to be ready for church tomorrow? We're leaving at 8," she crossed her arms and waited. I didn't want to respond, but I figured I should to make my life easier.
"Yea mommy I'll be ready," I said. She managed to give me one of those glares that I hated to see on her face; it was the glare of disappointment. I didn't know what she was disappointed in this time, but it was clear something was bothering her. Her arms shifted to her hips, and after a few seconds she left.
I didn't pay attention to her most of the time and it drove her crazy. Sometimes I felt like she wanted me to react to her orders by saying no. Did she ask me random orders to incite a negative reaction from me? I wouldn't trap myself in her negativity. She wouldn't win today, but I didn't like how the family always seemed to be in some competition. It would either be me in an argument with mommy, or me in an argument with my dad. Always fighting.
__________________
Vote and Comment please!
YOU ARE READING
The Power of Thought
Short StoryJustina struggles to find her place in the world, but her unique gift to read minds will help her find someone she's lost, including herself.