Bad Boy Love

Bad Boy Love~ Part 15

I looked down at the note that Jake had grabbed with blurry vision from tears, or should I say envelope.

It was a letter that I have never opened. It came in the mail on my 13th birthday, but I never had the guts to open that thin piece of paper that separated me from all of my questions.

The only reason Jake knew was because he read my journal entry on the page that I slipped the letter in, I had written : "I still have never been able to grow the nerve to finally open the envelope I received on my 13th birthday. No one except me knows about it, I hid it from my mom and stare at it every night. I debate on whether I should tear that thin slice of paper and unfold that note that has caused me so much grief in my life. The letter that had no return address, I had no idea where it came from. I certainly know who it came from though....

My father.

He left me before he even got a chance to see me. I never got to see a picture of him, my mom tells me that I need to move on from that heinous monster that is my father. I have decided I will never open it, but when I kill myself tonight, someone will. ~Maya"

I breathed out a huge breath of pain and despair as I finished the note. I was going to kill myself that night, and I tried to. I was only 13.... and the reason I tried to swallow that whole bottle of pills was because of my father. I couldn't bear to know he was out there anymore.

Only, the night that I held the bottle in my hand, Katie walked in on me... I wasn't answering her texts and she knew I was home alone, so she rode her bike over to my house since we only lived a block away from each other at the time.

She promised to never tell my mother, as long as I promised to never try to harm myself again.... and no one has ever found out, but now Jake knows my secret.

He can use it against me, and knowing Jake... he will when he has the chance. Jake is all about black mail. If he wants me to do his chores then he will say, "Too bad no one knows about your secret! Yet!"

He would be able to pressure me to anything.

I pulled the cover over my head and just wanted to disappear into thin air, forever. I wanted to dig a hole in my bedroom, crawl in it, and slowly shrivel up.

I hear a light tap on my door, but I didn't budge. The door slowly opened, and I still kept my head buried under the covers. Then light little footsteps came over to my bed and tapped my shoulder softly, I slowly turned to look and see Sam standing there in her little princess dress.

"Why are you crying?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," I said as I sat up and wiped away my tears.

Sam slowly climbed up onto my bed and sat next to me, "Why are you crying?" she asked again with a soft voice.

I slowly exhaled and looked at the floor, was I really about to vent all of my problems to a little girl? Yes...

"My dad sent me a note when I was younger, but I never opened it. I am actually scared to open it and read it," I sighed as Sam scooted closer to me and held my hand.

"My daddy left to go on a secret mermaid mission to save the magical water princess from the evil ocean witch," she explained, "At least that's what mommy told me. She said he might not come back, but I know if I got a note from my daddy, I would open it," she said while slightly nudging me.

"You're right," I sighed. The little girl was right, she could grow up to be the next Dr. Phil.

"Do you want to open it with me?" she asked with an excited giggle.

I sat in thought for a second, should I open it? Or should I not. What if it said something about if he died, or what if it said that he hated me and just wanted me to be reminded about it.

"Okay," I mumbled as I reached over and grabbed the flimsy envelope that separated me from all of my questions.

I held my breath as I pushed my thumb under the fold and ripped it open. I pulled out the letter that was written on stained binder paper and was folded up in a rushed looking manor. 'Maya' was scribbled on the front fold of the binder paper in very messy handwriting.

I started to unfold the paper and my heart sped up. What would it say? Would he explain why he left? Would he even say he was sorry for what he did?

A tear rolled down my cheek as I started to read the messy scribbles if the letter.

"Dear Maya," it began, I read aloud so that only Sam (no one else) could hear me. She may be smart, but she isn't good at reading messy handwriting...

"Dear Maya,

                   I am so sorry that I left you before I even got a chance to hold you. I want to see you and your mother, but I know that you would rather kill me than see me. I hope you know that I love you so much and that I realize what a stupid thought it was to leave you like that. Growing up without a father must be hard, and I am a horrible dad for making you go through that. I have quit smoking + drugs, and I have been sober from drugs and alcohol for five years now. I want us to build up a good relationship and maybe you can have your dad back, if you will even accept me... I am living in China now, and I will send another letter a few years from now to your mother if there is no response. Don't tell your mother about this letter. Trust me, you won't want her to know, unless you like long lectures and venting. I need you to trust me when I tell you that I have changed, and I need you to understand why I needed to leave you. I can't talk about why I left in a letter, but if you meet me in China with your mother I can discuss it with you both. I love you and I miss you, happy 13th birthday Maya.

Love, Dad."

Below he had attached a little baggy with a crystal necklace inside and "Happy Birthday" written on the small plastic sandwich bag. There was a little sticky note on the bottom of the letter which I assumed was his address written on it.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I finished the letter. I scanned it up and down and flipped it around to see if there was anything else, there wasn't.

He didn't even answer a ton of the questions I had, he just left me with a lot more! Why did he leave? Why can't he mention it? Why did he move to China?

Wait.....

Suddenly, a thought hit me like a ton of bricks in the stomach.

~A/N~

Again, apologies for the wait! What is her thought? Hmmm....

By the way, am I too predictable or are you guys just awesome? Every time I leave with a question a handful of people guess correctly... :D

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