Mr.Nogla (Daithi De Nogla)

part seven

It was Friday and I was finally looking less ill enough to Ryan to go into school. I probably already had a terrible attendance within the first week of school. After following my daily routine I set off to school and made my way down the road.

I made it to school on time, for once, and sat in my form room at the back of the class as usual. One of my friends from my friendship group had joined me, a long with one of her other friends. As they chatted to themselves I found myself staring out the window, my eyes gazing from cloud to cloud.

/Later/

Before I realised, the bell for fifth period went so I picked up my bag and dusted my skirt off before I made the trip to double art. Pushing the door open, I took the liberty in glancing at Daithi's desk, watching him sat stare down at a page. Looking away, I sat at my desk and let out a short sigh.

I stared out the window, ignoring the background noise. By the time the end of the fifth period had ended I looked down at my blank sheet and adjusted my glasses. As I gazed around the classroom, I noticed Daithi still sat at his desk. Taking my pencil I took a breathe and ran a hand through my hair, my mind blank of ideas.

I tried sketching out a hand, soon finding myself scrunching the paper up in a ball to discard it on the other side of my desk. Another 5 attempts later I groaned to myself, moving my glasses to rub my tired eyes. Then I thought about Daithi and how badly I wanted to draw him. With extra restraint, I stopped myself from doing so and ignored the thought as I attempted to draw a hand for the seventh time.

I rest my own hand besides it and compared it to the one I had drawn. The fingers were more narrow and the hand part was more veiny. I took another sheet of paper and a biro out my blazer pocket and began sketching out numerous versions of the hand, in different positions. I stopped and look down at the sheet, something about the shape and detail of them making me wonder who's they could be.

I mean they could just be any old hand that popped out of my head. But then I began to think, and I dragged a hand down my face in distress as I realised what I had been doing all along. Of course it was Daithi's hand. Of fucking course.

Not being able to get him out of my head angered me. Not being able to stop myself from drawing him without even realising angered me. Having the thought of liking him angered me. The thought of him having any feeling about me angered me.

His hair, beard, smile, laugh, humour, nerves, his dumb car angered me. Everything that remotely reminded me of him angered me.

And that drew me to be angry with myself, and him. I was so full of irritation and hatred that I had to grab my bag and get up, walking out the class without a single word. A few seconds into storming down the hall I heard the door open and close behind me and I heard Daithi's voice call me followed by the squeak of his shoes. "Tabitha! Where do you think you're going?" He asked in the same tone of annoyance I had driven myself to.

I stopped and turned my head to him, my eyebrows knitted together in resentment as I scanned his worried yet annoyed face. "Fuck you and your dumb fucking hands!" Was all I could yell at him, turning to storm down the hall to leave him in a state of confusion. 

I left out the side doors so I wouldn't get questioned by the receptionist and continued to pace out the school gates to my house. 10 minutes into the walk, I began to slowly calm down- still in a state of irritability. I had taken a long route that I wasn't so familiar with so I was basically walking down an empty road.