(A/N): I don't own anything because I'm a poor little savage
Oh, and I do hope you realize the Toni shorts are supposed to be stupid, because I'm a talentless giraffe. Don't take these seriously, because I surely don't. I'll do some Spamano later but just enjoy my garbage for now (that i worked really hard on so love me) ♡
___________________________________
Antonio's POV:
"It's so fucking hot," Lovino complained, plopping onto the ground.
"Si, I think I noticed," Antonio replied sarcastically, joining the other on the ground. It has been exactly four months that the two have been in the indoor tomato orchard (A/N: it's been four months btw), and legit no one had given thought to their whereabouts, let alone tried to free them.
"Shut up, bastard." Antonio merely sighed, staring up into the ceiling, looking for a certain comfort that would never come. Some days Antoni wished that the building would just collapse, crushing his every limb and ending his pitiful existence.
As though some wooga-booga man was listening to the Spaniards every thought, the duo heard a loud crack erupt from above, and they could only look in horror - and lust, nasty ass tomatoes - as the ceiling began to fell. Antonio was at a loss of words, but he managed to muster a quick "Mmmmmyis", before standing up with his arms out, accepting his fate. And he waited. And waited. And waited. But much to the Spaniards dismay, the ceiling never crushed any part of his hot body. As he looked around, nothing seemed to be damaged at all. In fact, it looked perfectly in tact! The fuck bruh?
"Hey Lovi, did you hear the....." but Lovino would never hear the end of that forsaken sentence, for what was standing before them was more breathtaking than admiring Spain's ass from afar. What stood upfront of them was none other than Captain Romato, defender of all indoor tomato orchards and pretty girls who was somehow suspended in mid air. Both men stood in awe, admiring their saviour's every detail.
"You... you saved my ass!" Lovino called out to the hero, giving an extremely rare smile.
"Ah, my boy, but it's not your ass I was after," Captain Romato gestured to Antonio in a somewhat seductive fashion. "I cannot stand by and just allow such an ass go to waste! That would be cruel!" Antonio shook his head, while the little Italians face turned a dark shade of crimson.
"Yeah.... well.... your mom!" He replied lamely, bowing his head I defeat.
The indoor orchard suddenly became silent, which it remained for quite some time, until Antonio decided to pipe in, "Hey, could you, by any chance, bring us home?" He looked up at Romato with pleading eyes. "come on, if not for us, then for the ass." Romato stroked his stubble-infested chin for a moment, before nodding solemnly.
"Where to?" He asked the two.
Antonio turned to Lovino, who answered with a quick, "to the bastard's house,", turning away almost instantly afterwards. The captain nodded yet again, gesturing for the two to follow.
"So what, are we gonna fly on your biceps?" Lovino teased, only to be met by the suddenly serious face of Captain Romato.
"No, we're taking my jeep, stupid," he replied, and Toni provided a quiet "duh".
"Well shit," the Italian said quietly to himself, not feeling as though this conversation needed to progress any further.
Once rrhey got in the vehicle, Toni screamed "shotgun" on the top of his lungs, hence Lovino had to ride in the back trunk thingy.
"So...," Antonio stared. "what do you listen to for music?"
"Oh, I don't listen to music," admitted the captain. "Only audio tapes."
"Pardon?" The Spaniard tilted his head slightly, but Romato was already inserting a tape into the stereo thingy. Not long after, the awkward atmosphere was met with the sound of Samuel L Jackson, reading the book no one knows but we all love;
Go the Fuck to sleep.
"The nestle close to their kittens now.
The lambs have laid down with the sheep.
You're cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.
Please go the fuck to sleep."
"Um.... Romato?" Antonio shifted uncomfortably, while Lovino smirked evilly from the back of the jeep.
"No no wait, it gets better!" Romato urged.
Well, this was going to be a long ride.
____________________________________
(A/N): I'LL POST AN ACTUAL CHAPTER TODAY I PROMISE I'M SO SORRY
