Hired Girlfriend.

Chapter Five: Ugh is my favourite word.

"What do you want to do today?"Louis asked as I stuck my hands in my pockets.

"Nothing really. I'm just really super bored." I slouched down in the sofa. "I want to sleep."

"You're really lazy, you know? I've noticed that in the past few days. You used to climb trees like a mini monkey all day long when we were little, now you're a lazy hobo."

"So? Lazy hobos are cool." I shrugged him off and he shook his head in disapproval.

In case of any questions, we were chilling out at Louis' place. He said his girlfriend had gone out of town or something like that for a few days, but once she would come back, he wanted me to meet her.

I tried to grab the TV remote, but before I could take it, Louis snatched it up from the table and sat on it, making his huge arse push on who knows how many buttons and change to random channels.

"I didn't even want it anyway." I crossed my arms over my chest and sat back on the sofa.

There was an awkward silence between us for a few minutes, until Louis was the one who broke the silence.

"You know you're gonna have to deal with Harry sooner or later, right?" I rolled my eyes and mentally groaned as I ignored the changing channels on the television.

"Ugh. I don't even want to see the jerk anytime sooner." I told him.

"You're going to have to, if not management is going to start getting pushy. It's already been 3 days and you haven't even wanted to see him. The media already knows about the fake breakup between Amy and Harry, you need-"

"How did they know?" I asked before he could continue.

"They started arguing as if they were really mad and they haven't gone out in public since then, and Harry went on Twitter saying: Glad it's over. It was too obvious for the media and the fans not to notice."

"Hm, okay."

"That means you need to start soon, Ryan." he said, sternly.

"I don't want to look like a clingy slut, like jeez...it's been 3 days, they're going to say Harry's a man whore." I stated the obvious.

"Since when do you care about what the media says about Harry?" he wiggled his eyebrows, obnoxiously.

"I don't you idiot, it's just the obvious...it's not normal for someone to actually break up with someone and then have a new relationship in 3 days." I stared at him blankly.

"Ryan, I don't want it to sound mean, but how would you know? You've never had a boyfriend." it didn't affect me at all, I didn't care if I'd never had a boyfriend or not.

"In the name of purple armpits! It's illogical, would you do that?"

"Purple-"

"Just answer the damn question."

"No bu-"

"See!" I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Well yeah but-"

"I'm going to wait until management starts to really pickle my teach. Sorry, I mean tickle my peach." I was pretty sleepy, so I couldn't really help start talking weird stuff.

"Fine, do whatever you want." he finally took the remote control from his bum and put on a movie for us to watch and we both just sat there in silence.

When the comercials came on, all I could think about was food, so I got my lazy arse off the sofa and walked over to the fridge before taking a piece of frozen pizza and a plate from the cupboard and sat back on the sofa before I began to eat it. Why eat it warmed up if it already tasted good when cold?

"That good?" Louis asked me and I only nodded in response. "Hey Ryan, how about if we make up like a story on how you two start "dating"." I groaned out loud.

"Okay, fine. Tell me what's on your mind." his phone beeped and he smiled mischievously down at his phone. I looked at him in confusion, and tried to maybe catch a glimpse pf whatever he was reading from my place, but couldn't see anything. He locked his phone and put it down on the living room table, before looking back at me.

"I was thinking I could "play cupid". We go out in public, and I sort of introduce you, so it won't look like a magic elf just appeared and all of the sudden you know each other. What'cha think?"

"I don't really care, but if you want to, okay."

"Good, I'll just have to-"

"Stink Alert." I warned Louis.

"What? What's that? Is it-HOLY SHIT RYAN!" he covered his nose and tried to get away from me, he went to go get some aromatic candles and put them in the living room, along with an aerosol can with citric scent.

"Your farts smell like a man's!" I was cracking up, this was so funny. He grabbed a paper bad and started breathing into it, while I could feel my face start to turn red, and no sound came out of my mouth.

"What the hell? You could've at least warned me what that is." he looked at me, kinda pissed. My laughter came to an end and I just gave him a cheeky smile.

"If I told you, it would've been boring, duh."

"Idiot." he muttered.

"Thank you dear." I said in a posh accent before turning back to my frozen pizza and continued to eat it, before we heard a knock at the door, and Louis got up to open the door.

"Hey Lou, I just-" I turned to see who it was, as I saw Harry enter the living room, and my pizza fell to the floor.

"Ugh. Crap." I whispered as I turned to see it on the floor. It was the last piece of pizza left. I turned to look from Harry to Louis, and frowned.

"What is she doing here?" Harry asked Louis, annoyed.

"I was here first, so you can start leaving if you don't want to see me here." I responded for him.

"I was asking Louis. You're parents never taught you any manners did they? No wonder." My parents were always a touchy subject for me, so I would always get mad whenever someone mentions something having to do with them.

"If you just knew, you would've shut up long time ago."

"Listen guys-"

"Just forget it. Ugh, I'm outta here." I said before I put my jacket on and began to leave.

"Ryan, please-" Louis tried to stop me, but I just waved goodby without turning back to look at him, before I could catch a cab.

~Louis~

"You owe her an apology. Big time." I told Harry, a few seconds after Ryan left.

"Jeez, it's not like I said anything that important. Take a break."

"It is important. You don't even know. You're judging her wrong Harry, she's really a great person, you should try to get to know her, plus you've acted like a jerk towards her."

"Yeah, whatever. I've got a date with Amy later, so if you want to go play pool, we better go right now." he was being obnoxious.

I was going to say 'yes' but then I got a better idea.

"Nope. Let's go do something else. Follow me. And you might want to tell Amy you'll be late, this might take a long time."

"But wher-"

"Just shut up and follow me idiot." I grabbed my car keys and my house keys, before we both walked out of my flat.