AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the end. (For now?) What do YOU think?
That day on the beach, the day of the kiss, Nathan promised Kelsey all the time she wanted. It seems as though Kelsey is taking him up on the offer.
Back in Indiana, Nathan is trapped. For three days, he waits by his phone. It never leaves his sight; not for a moment. The ringer is on full and it's set to vibrate. He carries it with him from room to room, checking it constantly.
It doesn't ring.
He can't be distracted from his thoughts by anything. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Kelsey and every single moment of their encounter. It's not just the intensity at the bar. It's a hundred other moments from their trip; from their life together. Kelsey smiling on the beach, Kelsey nestled into him at night, Kelsey posing in that goddamn dress—it plays in his head like a home movie. All he can see is Kelsey's gaze and all he can feel are Kelsey's hands.
Sex against a wall outside a bar. Or lovemaking? It was raw and yes, urgent, but he never looks or touches Kelsey with anything but tenderness behind his eyes or movements. And isn't that lovemaking? But maybe it was just sex. Or not. He doesn't know and it drives him to the brink of insanity. Worst of all, he can't make himself regret it. When Kelsey tells him that she's sorry and they won't work out, it'll still be in Nathan's memory, lovingly tucked away in a mental file folder labeled neatly under "Kelsey." And probably "heartbreak."
His fucking phone is mocking in its silence. He ignores calls from the rest of the world, sending them to voicemail without a second thought. His roomates walk around him, oblivious to the storm that has brewed inside him, totally unaware that Nathan is being unhinged with each passing hour. He's desperate to know, to hear, to give his body and mind completion in some way.
He thinks about the kiss. The love outside the bar was one thing; the kiss on the beach was another. So innocent and so touching and so encompassing. How did Kelsey do it with just one kiss? How did she get Nathan so wrapped around her finger?
Round and round and around his thoughts go. For three days he might as well just be laying on the living room or bedroom full time...which he actually does a lot of. He barely sleeps because he's so wound up and when he does hit dreamland, it's full of nightmares.
On day four, Nathan leaves the phone on the kitchen table and jumps up to go longboarding around the town.
Day five consists of cooking.
Day six is about eating. Gluttony is always comforting. Laying on a couch in a food coma, he wonders if he would even fit into his jeans. Probably not.
Day seven, he drags his ass outside and runs around the town until his limbs are on fire and his lips are chapped from breathing so had. He wonders if it's possible to run his heart into an attack at the tender age of 18.
On day eight, he sits at the park, trying to decide his next move. He can get advice from Allie, if he wants, but Nathan doesn't have any intention of telling anybody what happened with Kelsey in Florida. It's for them and nobody else. They parted at the airport with a hug and a lingering look, and Nathan has heard absolutely nothing. He assumes that Kelsey is in Virginia with her family, but who really knows. She could be with Brent, happily ensconced in his arms. The mental image hits Nathan like a physical blow, stinging.
Does he call Kelsey? Or maybe Kyle? He's always been like a second brother. Should he go up to DC, or just text Kelsey that it's okay to break his heart through text message? Or does he just say "fuck it all" and move to Mexico to pursue professional surfing?
He thinks about that for a second, until he abandons the idea and goes home to his bed. He won't let himself cry and as the emotions build up, they're like wounds that won't scab. Ugly, red. Uncertain.
