Remembrance

Ch. 1

She was young: her cheeks full and rosy, her legs short. She wore a floral print dress with white lace on the collar and on the short sleeves. In the car, the grey sky shone through the windshield. There were no seatbelts. The seat itself was black leather, and like the cars from the sixties, it acted as a bench, allowing the driver and passenger to sit in close proximity.

"I told them I was thirteen, but you know I'm older than that, don't you?" the white faced girl grinned, giggling to herself a bit. The black-haired boy kept quiet; however a kind, comforting vibe emanated from him. He was warm; the girl slid closer to his shoulder. He wore clothes that were the same color as his shaggy hair. The young girl was glowing, her cheeks magenta. She was silent and leaned nearer the boy. He sighed but scooted closer to her, offering his sturdy shoulder for her to lean on. She lied her head against his arm, closing her eyes and smiling. They didn't converse though they communicated. She stared longingly at his pale hand, which was resting on the seat. Upon glancing down, he found her biting her lip with her eyes narrowed intensely. She looked up at him, and their eyes met briefly before he turned his attention back to the road. She felt her heart palpitating and shied away, burying her face in the space between the seat and his shoulder. Shortly after, he gently caressed the top of her hand with his smooth fingertips. She shivered, shocked. Her heart fluttered with the beat of a hummingbird's wings. He slithered his fingers under her hand, which was barely half the size of his, and clasped it against his. The car was warm, either from the heater or from the affection of the two within. She felt calm and sleepy, her eyes sliding shut as she nestled her head against his shoulder.

He lifted the girl's sleeping figure with ease, cradling her as they moved inside his apartment. She shifted slightly as he set her onto the couch. The room was dark. He looked down at her, watching her chest rise and fall. His face was expressionless. He went into the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He glared at himself in the mirror. He was frustrated, wondering what he was doing. He sat down on the couch and pulled the girl into his lap, intending to keep her warm. When he gazed at her, he smiled slightly. Her real age was fourteen, and he was twenty. He loved her wholeheartedly, yet he tried to distance himself from her. He wanted her to forget him, to have a normal life. He was searching for any sign of the Gate. What else would an ex-contractor and ex-drunkard do with his life? After what he'd seen and done, there was no going back to normalcy. He stroked her orange hair, reveling in the feeling of it between his fingers. He could not let her go, yet he could not keep her. He knew she could save him, but could he make her happy?

"Hei.." she whispered his name in the darkness. She squirmed around a bit, moving so her face was directly below his. He could not help himself; he traced his fingers along her cheeks, her jawline, her lips. He could not help his love for her, and he hated himself for it. "Why do I love you?" she said softly.

"I don't know" he answered, his voice low, nearly inaudible. She smiled and reached her hand up to stroke his cheek. He stared at her, finding her beautiful, the most beautiful. His arm was still gently wrapped around her shoulders, holding her.

"Kiss me, Hei, please?" she seemed to whimper. His look turned stern, and he removed his hand from her face. He grasped the hand she had placed on his cheek.

"Suou..." he said, shaking his head. The girl shivered slightly, her eyes watering.

"Don't you love me?"

"Yes."

"Then why-"

"Because I want what's best for you."

She sat up quickly, her arms crossed.

"How do you know what's 'best for me'?" she demanded, "I don't even know!"

Hei sat with a look of slight shock rising on his face. He quickly retracted the expression. He didn't say anything. The moonlight gleamed through the window over the couch. Suou turned away, her hands rising to wipe away her tears.

"I've always known..." she said, her voice shaking, "that I was missing something, someone... You, Hei." Her shoulders shook with sobs she tried to choke down. "I don't understand it!" she cried, gripping her hair in anger. "I don't know why I love you! I don't even know where I met you or where you're from! All I know is that I do love you." Suou felt the hot tears glide off her chin and onto the floor. She wouldn't turn around. Hei had stood up, his eyes wide, yet his face otherwise stoic. He stepped towards Suou, and he placed his hand on her head. She whipped around, her face a mess.

"Suou," Hei said softly, "It's okay." She whimpered slightly, her lip trembling. She stared into Hei's eyes, waiting for him to say more. He was quiet though, as he wiped away her tears. He caressed her face, shushing her gently as she hiccupped sobs.