In The Closet

When we ask about things, there’s a huge chance that we already know the answer. When we don’t, leaving it as it is – unanswered, is best.

It’s a lesson I learned the hard way. It’s a lesson life teaches most of us the hard way -- the sad, painful, and emotionally challenging way.  Mahirap talagang ma-inlove.

September, 2012

Our lips parted and I slowly opened my eyes to find his searching mine. The alcohol we took was not that intoxicating though it gave me the kick that I need to muster up enough courage to dare him.

“Kiss me.”

The winds of September blew cold and quiet, as though it is listening to our hushed up conversation on the terrace of the dormitory we were staying at.

“Ha?” he asked looking perplexed. Parang nabigla s’ya sa sinabi ko. Well, who wouldn’t be?

“I said I dare you to kiss me.”

We were both in our underwear as a result of the previous dares. I was dared to strip down and stand on the edge of the terrace so that anyone who’s awake at that hour would see my glory, my naked glory. I am seriously glad it was already midnight because I don’t think I’d want “drunken underwear guy” added to my long list of nicknames.

He didn’t say a word. He just closed his eyes as if he’s bracing himself for the shock of his life. I closed mine as well and slowly, super slowly kissed him, sucking his bottom lip and trying to part it with my tongue.

“You’re a bad kisser!” I teased and to my surprise, he claimed my mouth and proved me wrong.

We remained that way for what seemed like ages. Searching each other’s tongue, sucking…touching. And for a minute I thought it would never stop. I wished it wouldn’t stop. I didn’t want it to.

“Bad kisser, parin ba?” he kid.

“Guess I was wrong.” I chuckled. “Can you ever forgive me?” I pouted and leaned in close to him. I rested my head on his warm chest as he put his arms around me. I closed my eyes and began to drift away as the turmoil in my system finally calmed down. I am in love with him. That I know now.

When I finally opened my eyes, I suddenly realize that we’ve been asleep in that position for at least two hours. I took a glance at my wristwatch, its glowing hands showed the time – 4am.

Jesus. I hope nobody saw us. Please, please, please!

“Howie.” I gently patted his soft cheeks. “Howie, wake up.”

I patted even a little harder, each pat a little harder than the last. When it was more like a soft slap, he finally woke up with a jolt.

I suddenly felt guilty having him woken up at this hour with so little sleep. I felt so much better looking at him breathing slowly with his lips slightly parted rather than this – bloodshot eyes and creased forehead.

“I’m sorry, but it’s almost dawn.  Alam mo mas masarap matulog sa kama.” Sinabi ko nang medyo may pagka-sarcasic.

Naningkit ang mga mata n’ya. “Tara.”

Maingat naming binuksan ang sliding door at tahimik na pumasok sasecond floor.

“Ikaw na lang bahala dito, 7:30 kasi ang pasok ko mamaya.” He said as he walked past me and straight upstairs.

“Sure.” I sighed, I hope everything’s okay. I made a move a while ago and I’m standing by it.

Kapitel 1