If you are sexy already you can just click away or whatever, but for those of you that need help, like myself, I am here to help you.
Here's a thing, this is inspired by the incredible Jenna Mourey Marbles which I don't wanna be blamed for stealing her stuff but I'll combine some of my tips with hers so it would be a wonderfull combination of helpfull thoughts.
So, there are a lot of sexy people you come across everyday and they are like so hot and thats their thing... Fuck them. For those of you that are just normal like myself, here are some tips and tricks that you can take to make yourself sexy.
- If you are a girl, you already are a sexual object so it would only take a few steps:
1. Put some really dark make up on your eyes, the darker the color is, the better. Make sure it's dark to a point where people don't recognize you so you have to remind them all the time who you actually are. And remember, do not consider trying a more natural look because you are too ugly to pull that off.
2. Make sure to wear a skirt that is 2 sizes smaller than your actuall size so that the extra skin that is popping out can be visible from other spaces.
3. Put tons of parfume, so that your crush can smell you from his house.
4. Always chew a gum and make sure to pop out balloons as loud as possible so that the sound can not only attrack human attention but it can also awaken the dead with it. (hint: you should also pull out the gum with the dirtiest finger and twist it for a while and than put it back in your mouth, this will instantly add some extra sexiness)
5. Play careless whisper by george michael on your phone (or sth) and do all the normal everyday activities in slow motion, so they will instantly become sexy.
-If you are a guy, you eather are gay or not sexy at all so if you really wanna be sexy I am strarting to question your sexual orientation already. However, the only step that you can take is the "careless whisper" step, but no, you still won't be Channing Tatum... because life is not fair sometimes
