The Mask

Chapter One

Sally looked in the mirror. She loathed her face, and its stupid happy expression.

If you hate it so much then stop smiling.

But she knew she couldn't. If she did everyone would know what a self pitying, woeful mess she was. So she kept smiling at herself in the mirror, pretending she was happy. As if pretending would make it true.

"Sally, Kayla's on the phone!" Her mother called. Sally allowed herself a small frown and then resumed smiling to get the phone.

"How have you been Sally?" Kayla asked when Sally picked up.

"Great! I've been great. I really love the weekend!" Sally said as though she wasn't dying inside.

"That's awesome Salls! So, do you want to come over? We could go swimming today if you want to!" Kayla asked in her cheery ecstatic way.

"Er... sure. Why not. I could use some swimming about now anyways!" Sally laughed.

"Great! See you in a bit!" Kayla said and then hung up before Sally could change her mind. She sighed. Kayla was so happy and really nice, but her energy was exhausting. Sally felt the smile rubbing off and quickly fixed her expression before saying good bye to her mother and leaving to Kayla's house. As she walked there she had a moment to drop the smile and think.

Why am I doing this? Why am I always pretending? Why can't I show who I am without being afraid?

She asked herself these questions and the one question she had always thought but never answered.

Why don't I just stop?

As always she pushed that question aside because she didn't know the answer and she didn't think she ever wanted to know the answer. Soon she was at Kayla's house and the truth went down and the smile came back up.

"Hey Sally! Come on in!" Kayla said happily. Sally headed inside and Kayla dashed out to the pool. Sally followed slowly after saying hello to Kayla's parents. By the time she was out on the deck, Kayla had stripped and changed into her swimsuit. Sally looked at her for a moment and felt that familiar rush she always felt.

It's because of this that you're a freak.

She shook her head to clear it and quickly slipped out of her clothes. She was glad she had worn a swimsuit underneath, she didn't want Kayla to see her naked.

"You coming in Salls?" Kayla asked. Sally nodded enthusiastically and canon balled into the water, sending a glittery cascade over both girls.

"Geez Sally! What have you been eating? That was like an elephant jumping in!" Kayla giggled. Sally laughed along with her, hiding how much the remark had made her hurt.

Don't feel it, she doesn't need to know. Just toughen up and you'll be fine.

Kayla was swimming around in the water like a graceful fish with brilliant hair and dark skin. To Sally, Kayla was made in such high contrast it seemed as though God had intended her to be eye stealing no matter where anyone looked. Sally swam around and felt, in contrast to Kayla, like a clunky chicken in the water. The remainder of the time Kayla and Sally swam in a pleasant silence that somehow made Sally felt relaxed and on edge at the same time.

Why hasn't she said anything? Does she not want to talk to me? Does she just enjoy solitude while in the water?

Whatever the reason neither girl said anything until Sally got a call from her mother to return home for dinner.

"Bye Sally," said Kayla.

"Bye Kay Kay!" Sally said brightly. Again on the walk home the familiar jumble of questions filled her head. And again at dinner she thought them, all the while hiding behind her false smile and pretending to be happy. When dinner was over Sally went up to her bedroom, a dangerous object in her pocket. She lay it out on her night stand. It glittered dangerously, yet somehow inviting. Sally tried not to think of it. But eventually its presence reeled her close up to it. Feeling an impulse she grabbed the knife and cut a small slit into her arm. It felt amazing, finally an outlet for all the pain she had kept inside! She tried it again and felt an astounding rush. She felt a genuine smile spread across her face as she continued cutting herself. She had found a fix. Or so she thought. After all, nothing lasts forever.

Author's Note
Alright, if you haven't gathered this already from the cover this story is emo. The reason I'm writing it is because recently I've felt like Sally has. Although I have stopped cutting I want another outlet to focus on. So this is what it is, a book. There, now you know a little more about me. That's all for now. Olive out!