Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time

Chapter 1

It's any other day in hell. The air is cool and the torches' lights flicker ever so dimly. Patrick sits on his "throne" although he was displeased with such a term. This hell was a society for the corrupt. Modern age. To scrap such monarchy was a relief to the yellow eyed demon. Of course, the class system never left. Yellow eyed demons meant to set orders for the red and black eyed souls; he couldn't change that.

"Patrick, sir, we have an updated list of current souls coming to you shortly." Tyler says.

"Thank you, Tyler." Patrick says. A small smile forms on the red eyed demon's lips. He had always appreciated Patrick's kindness.

The yellow eyed demon gets up from his seat and proceeds to walk down the narrow hallway to the east end labor stations. The walk about was always deemed as unnecessary. Red eyed demons held their weapons beside them as black eyed demons slaved away. No one was allowed from their post. Anyone foolish enough to escape was executed. He enjoyed viewing all the subtle changes he made to hell.

Patrick makes eye contact with one of the guards. He gives a small nod of acknowledgement as the demon reciprocates the action. Patrick then proceeds to circle back down to the main hall.

Another day of keeping organization and civility, Patrick thinks. Even though he knew he could have gone to heaven. The situations he could have avoided. The pain he wished he could forget...

He shakes off his memories as he sees Tyler bringing him the list of current souls.

"Here you are, sir." Tyler hands him the lengthy list of names.

Patrick skims through to see how many black eyed demons there were compared to red. Usually the contrast weighed in favor for the black eyed demons; today was almost double that. Production of weapons, rooms, and demonic potions tended to be well filled. He questioned the leash he had on meak, lackluster black eyed demons.

"The influx of black eyes seems to be high today. I'm starting to become less fond of sending them to almost over capacitated work stations."

"Well, we wouldn't want them to trail off much. They might wander into the western plane..."

The yellow eyed demon looks at Tyler, "You're right." He says. A prominent sigh escapes his lips. No, he couldn't let the black eyed demons wander to the western plane. After losing almost half of the lower level population to such scum like Cloud in the beginning of Patrick's rule, he couldn't allow any more to go to the bastard's side.

"Maybe new jobs are in order?" Tyler suggests; a nervous tremble to his voice.

Patrick begins to pace, "New jobs, like what? There isn't much to a demon's life. Even with the interaction with humans when it comes to the crossroads. Nothing in developement needs to be produced any faster."

"I can hardly ponder myself, sir. As for now, we have new sections being developed. Maybe they can build a couple cells to confine less than a quarter of the new souls coming in."

"For now, I guess we can do that." Patrick says. He hands the list back to Tyler, "Please organize and distribute souls for me."

Tyler's eyes grow wide for a moment, "You want me to have a say in who goes where?" The red eyed demon is flabbergasted. Such a task was only performed by Patrick. He regrets letting such a fairly obvious question escape his lips. He should be honored, not unworthy or confused.

"Yes. I trust you, Tyler. Besides I might get a headache from organizing who goes where and figuring out new goddamn tasks for demons." The thought alone almost gave him a migraine.

A new excitement rushes through Tyler, "I'm on it, sir." He says, before going off to his private work station.

Patrick walks slowly back to his chair, proceeding to plop down like a heavy weight had been piling in his chest.

"New tasks." He begins to think out loud, "New... tasks." He repeats as one of his fingers gently taps his lips.

What else do we need, he thinks, a bigger unit for storing armory? More books for the library? A goddamn fucking jacuzzi because demons obviously need a break every so often.

"Sir?" A voice says.

"What?" Patrick exclaims with an irritated tone.

A long haired female demon he recognized from the exit of purgatory stands before him with a concerned expression.

"There's an unaccounted soul coming through purgatory."

Patrick sits up, "What? How could this be?"

"I don't know, he or she may not be a red or black eyed demon."

Patrick is quick on his feet as he calls for Tyler before rushing down the hallway. Tyler sprints up to Patrick and says, "What's going on, sir?"

"An unaccounted soul that couldn't even be classified is about to enter hell."

A chill runs up Tyler's spine, "This... this hasn't happened before." Through all the hustle and edginess of hell, nothing surprised Tyler. He had grown fairly accustomed and used to his surroundings. The only thing to ever shock him was kind moments given to him from Patrick. Now a new mystery soul was soon to present itself. Tyler took a deep breath and made an internal promise to not show his fear.

The rumble of the gates made the recent demons cheer in their temporary holding cells. That general reaction began to make Patrick nervous.

Through the foggy atmosphere of Purgatory,a display of two very large horns and a seemingly slate colored being began to present itself with a shadow of outstretched wings hovering behind.

The demon walks in with a prominent stride and a grin plastered on his face. But.... his face. Patrick questions, noticing engravings in his forehead and elongated chin. The fire from the torches illuminate the being more and more as the yellow eyed demon notices more similar engravings on his chest.

The demon makes eye contact with Patrick. Patrick notices they both share a pair of glowing yellow eyes. How could this be, he wonders, and who is-

"Patrick...." The demon starts, his yellow orbs soon averting to Tyler, "and Tyler?" His eyes grow wide along with his smile, "Sup, bitches." He says in an ostentatious tone.

Patrick immediately recognizes the voice. It was Brendon Urie. He could barely even recognize him. Tyler stands with his mouth slightly agape putting two and two together as well.

They both look at each other and realize that this... is definitely their new task.