Big Picture Show

An Intervention with the Kankers

Sarah and Jimmy skipped down the lane with their picnic basket in hand, giggling to themselves. They hopped over the fence, heading away from the cul-de-sac. Their parents weren't home yet, so they were going against the rules. But, what did Sarah care, Ed was going to get blamed anyway.

Sarah came to a halt.

Jimmy stopped walking with her.

"What's the matter, Jimmy?" Sarah asked.

"I'm not allowed to go in there, Sarah. I still have bad dreams, and my mom had to buy a mattress cover." Jimmy wailed.

Sarah rolled her eyes. He was taking up all her precious time. Ed could be getting massacred at this very moment. "Okay, but you're really gonna miss a doozy."

Jimmy stared off at Sarah. Usually she'd always care about his needs first. They just had to take a different pathway and that was it. "I hope Kevin knocks Eddy's teeth out."

He ran after Sarah, only to run down the wrong pathway. Unbeknownst to Jimmy, this pathway lead to the trailer park. Jimmy looked all around. Where was Sarah? His heart leaped. Oh no, did he take...

The little boy tripped over something and toppled into a pile of clothes.

"Oh, way to go, May!" A familiar voice yelled.

Jimmy peaked through a small hole in the pile of clothes. Oh no, he was at the Kanker's home! How was he going to get away without being noticed?

"Get back to work, snoutface!" Marie squabbled at May.

"Heh, snoutface, good one, Marie." Lee laughed.

May grumbled to herself. Why was she always the one who was packed on?

Jimmy's heart stopped when May reached into a pile of laundry. "If you guys weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do."

"Oh, please! Don't hurt me!" Jimmy screamed when May was dangling him through the air.

"Looks like someone left something in there pocket."

The Kanker sisters swarmed around the little boy calling him by the name of 'dutch'.

"A little far from home aren't you, dutch?" Lee said to him.

The sisters tossed him all around forcing him into a diaper, acting as if he was their boyfriend or making him do their laundry. Then he was having his body stretched out by all three who didn't want to share him. Tears filled Jimmy's eyes. This wasn't going to end well.

"Stop! I just wanted to see Ed, Edd and Eddy get clobbered!"

This made the sisters put Jimmy down. Lee leaned right into Jimmy's face, so close he could see the fillings in her teeth. "What did you say about our boyfriends?"

"None of your beeswax!"

It was Sarah. "My hero." Jimmy said.

It wasn't long before Sarah was pinned to the ground. She wasn't as strong as she thought. There was nobody else to help them.

Lee moved her finger through her mouth and came out with a hug glob of spit. "None of our beeswax, huh?" Lee said standing over her.

She was taller then Sarah thought. Sarah struggled to get loose, but May and Marie wouldn't let her go. The gross mess went through her ear. She kicked her legs up and down and was going to shout for...

Ed? Why was she going to shout for Ed? That brainless idiot wouldn't do anything. Well, sure he would, but he's not here.

Even through all this torture Sarah was not going to tell them anything.

"Stop! Enough!" Jimmy screamed unable to bear this torture anymore. "The Eds did something really bad! Something big happened because everyone's angry, chasing after them to give them their just desserts."

Jimmy stared crying, clinging to Sarah. She hugged him in fear too. For the first time she felt helpless. These girls overpowered her in every way. Her mother told her that she can beat anyone, but she was wrong. She was wrong. She was weak to the Kanker's.

"Ain't nobody beatin' up on my man, but me!" Marie said.

Lee looked at the kids and made the most haunting smile. "Grab the two squirts, girls. We're gonna need them."