Drowning in tears

2.Hot and Cold

(A/N: the song up there is hot and cold by Katy Perry. It's a nice song. Enjoy!)
           It wasn't her. My felt my heart drop into a pit as I scanned over her facial appearance and tried really hard for any sign of recognition but to no avail.

Unfortunately, the Scanner only allow strangers to check for basic information that the user has put up there, like her date of birth, her parents' names,her address... Sad to say, I have completely forgotten her birthday, since I am never good with numbers. So the next thing I search for is her parents ' names. That , I remember clearly-- Chantelle and Larry Jameson. But that, Amity has left it out. Strange , I mutter to myself. As far as I know, her parents were really kind and loving, even to me, a complete stranger and Amity had no problems with them, besides loving them too much to a point where I feel guilty loathing my own. Sighing, I moved on to the last column-- her address. Seriously, if I had no high hopes on the others, I am hopeless on this one since I'm clueless on road names whatsoever. It says Britney Road there. Somehow it rings a bell but no matter how hard I crack my brain, I just can't remember .

Anyway , my parents made me remember the names of most , if not all of the expensive estates since they own them. I had browsed through all of them in the Estates compartment. (Oh, if you don't know what that is, it's perfectly normal. It's just some containers you can buy to install in your brain to prevent you from losing/forgetting information. Only for the wealthiest. Needless to say, my parents are included.)Other than those, I don't think I know anything at all about places and there corresponding names. Unfortunately, Britney Road is not in there. But Amity's parents are almost as rich as my own! How can not they live in some kind of a luxury?

I let my face fall and furrowed my eyebrows as I mentally scolded myself for so foolishly thinking that she is the girl, the only friend I once had . But then again, I might have missed out on some of the places, or she might have moved to that place temporarily and had gone for those operations where they alter your appearance. I feel my emotions battle inside of me. A part of me screams that she had indeed gone for an operation and changed her outer appearance. The other part prays and hopes that she was not that kind of girls who would voluntarily hide herself behind a facade, just like what I was forced to , even before birth.

Unless...she had done it against her own will. Anyway, I seriously shouldn't get my hopes up...

*flashback*
That year, I was 7. It was my birthday and I was grinning from ear to ear as I awaited my parents' arrival. Surely for once they would both come home and celebrate with me. Or so I thought. They had either brushed me off the previous years, saying that that they would celebrate with me the next time, or just ignored me when I pleaded.

Finally for once, they both agreed to my request to come home on my 7th birthday.

But they never did.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I sat in the darkness, still holding on to the little bit of hope that they would truly come back and blow the candles together with me.

Finally I gave up and felt my heart turn cold as I went to bed, hot tears trickling down my face. It was two opposite feelings, hot and cold. Just like how opposite colours blend, they blended. That's right, the two opposite colours give you the colour of shit when mixed.

That's exactly how the combination of hot tears and cold heart made me feel-- like shit. It was only years later that I realised it was the feeling of heartbreak.

The next day, they had not even mentioned it bit. I guess they had just forgotten about it totally.
*flashback over*

Since then, I have never let myself get my hopes up again. Well, until today. That way, I would never let anyone disappoint or hurt me. Sometimes I do really feel lonely because of the wall of defense I built around myself, but other times, I just feel vulnerable without it.

Just as I looked up, I made eye contact with the new girl,Amity Jameson ,accidentally. Was the a flash of recognition I see in her eyes? I might have had mistaken it , but I do have perfect eyesight...

I smiled humorlessly at my own attempt of a lame joke. Seriously, everyone does. Except those living in the dumpsters who can't even afford a bar of chocolate (Sure, technology has improved, but chocolate doesn't get old.:p) as the operation to correct a person's eyesight is literally as cheap as that.

During lunch later that day, Amity came over to my table, which is mostly empty except for me. She had been hanging out with the 'cool' kids and I have no inkling as to why she had even bothered to meet me. It's just amazingly ironic how I had been in this friendliest school for 4 years now and had not made a single friend while she took less than 4 hours to make friends with , like, the whole school.

What a way to show how much charisma I had.

I thought she was going to laugh at how I was the only one in the entire school sitting alone , or something along that line.However, her first sentence not only startled me, but also made my heart skip a beat.

"Kamilah, is it really you?"