Villainous

The Calm

[MACK]

"You're lucky to be alive."

I practically cough up a lung as I sit up. I'm in Finn's hideout sprawled out on the couch. Finn is sitting across from me but other than that it's empty.

The events of last night come rushing back and I feel sick to my stomach. I can still see Pollux's face as he fell as if it's burned into my mind. My eyes sting, my throat hurts, and my head is pounding but at least I'm breathing.

"Finn..." I start, knowing he must be beyond angry with me.

"I can't even believe you would do that Mack. Any of it," he says, not even looking at me, "You risked your life, you risked Sage's safety, and this isn't even the first time! You've been acting crazy lately and I get that you've been through so much but I can't keep making excuses for you. It's like I don't even know you anymore. You were supposed to be a good guy Mack. You were supposed to be a hero."

I just let him yell at me. It's true and I deserve to hear it.

"I never meant to hurt you," I tell him, "Or anyone. I just did anything I could to save Levi."

Finn looks at me, his eyes echoing the same expression Levi had last night. "Really? Is this even about him anymore? I could you hear you last night talking to Pollux. You let him die."

He's looking at me like a monster and I don't blame him. He must hate me.

It's sort of funny. Levi had been worried about my Prime-ness controlling his mind, making him subconsciously love me and agree with everything I say. But if Finn can be this angry then none of it's true. Levi is wrong. I'd almost laugh but then Finn would probably think I'm crazy and he'd never forgive me.

"I tried to save him actually," I say quietly, "At the last minute I realized that if I let him die I could never come back from that but I was too late."

Finn actually looks pretty surprised at that.

"I used to believe in superheroes," I keep talking, "That some masked guy in a cape could swoop down and save the day, make everything right, and beat the bad guys. And then everything got so complicated. The good guys weren't so good. I found out my whole life was lie. People I loved got killed and brainwashed and I guess I just gave up. It was easier to just not care about being a hero anymore."

Finn is just listening so I keep talking.

"I still don't know if I believe in superheroes, at least not like in the comic books. I think everyone is just trying to what they think is right, even our enemies. So I can't really use the excuse that I was just trying to make things ok because I wasn't. I was being selfish and I let myself sink to a dark place," I tell him. It's time I finally own up to my actions. No more trying to justify what I did, "I'm sorry Finn. I want to make things right while I still can."

Finn is quiet for a long time before he finally answers. "Ok." He gives me his cocky side grin, "We'll fix this."

A feeling of relief washes over me. Finn is my partner and I don't know what I'd do if him of all people couldn't forgive me. It's time I start rebuilding the bridges I've burnt.

"Is Sage ok?"I ask. 

"She's a Super. We heal fast."

I nod. "Good. I'm going to go apologize later."

Finn looks away sheepishly before awkwardly running his hand through his hair. "There's something I need to tell you. You haven't really been around much so you might not know but Sage and I are kind of a thing. I really like her."